Beginning to End
by justbecauseofthis
Summary: "Look, if you don't come back with me, I'll have to kill you," and he means it. He won't have any other choice—orders are orders. The kid tenses under his arms. It seems the resolute finality of Erwin's words has sunk in. The past of Erwin and Levi told from beginning to end. [Erwin x Levi] Re-upload and reworked.
1. Chapter 1

Reupload and reworked. Sorry for deleting it before...

* * *

i. The Beginning of the Beginning

Hardened eyes much too jaded and lifeless for a kid—that's what Erwin sees the first time he meets Levi. What is a kid doing here anyway? This is a criminal smuggling line and the greatest one around at that. These traffickers are no joke. Because of them, the inner wall's gross income has been quite disturbed and it has to stop before the entire economy collapses.

Erwin and the rest of the Stationary Guard have been searching for the mastermind behind this thieving and conniving for months but it seems that he's always a few steps ahead and slips right through their fingers. But not this time. They've got him cornered to just this area and now, all Erwin has to do is find him. Which sounds easy, but since no one has a clue what the bastard looks like, it's proving to be quite a challenge.

"Kid, you need to get out of here."

The boy with the jaded eyes just stares at him. He looks to be maybe fourteen or fifteen. He's small and his body is just beginning to show the signs of becoming a man.

"There are dangerous criminals here. We're infiltrating their hideout as we speak. All hell is about to break loose."

At that the kid's eyes narrow. "That's not going to happen."

Erwin is taken aback by the ferocity in his voice. Someone as young as him shouldn't be able to sound that daunting. "What? Look, kid—"

A solid knee connects with Erwin's gut and the breath is knocked out of him. A moment too late, he realizes the kid is attacking him. And he's strong. Much stronger than any kid his size and age should be. He throws Erwin on his back and straddles his chest. Something cold and metal is pressed threateningly over his throat.

"Call off your people." The kid's eyes are shadowed and merciless and there is no hesitation in his movements.

"Who are you?"

"I'm in charge around here."

Erwin's eyes narrow. "Impossible. How old are you?"

The pressure at Erwin's throat becomes firmer and the blade of the knife presses down uncomfortably against his adam's apple.

"I told you to call off your people," he coolly repeats, rebuffing the question.

Erwin raises his palms defensively. "Even if I wanted to, I couldn't. They're already on the move."

The kid's eyes widen and he curses. "Damn you!" he spits through grit teeth. "I'm going to kill you now."

Erwin doesn't doubt this kid's intent to kill. His voice is disturbingly strong and not once does it shake. The knife is wound back and is about to plunge into Erwin's chest but right before the tip can slice through him, Erwin catches the blade and twists the kid around. Erwin is twice the size of him. The only reason he succeeded in tackling him to the ground before was due to Erwin's utter shock, but now that he's recovered, his superior strength and size reigns.

After knocking the knife away, he holds the kid in a loose chokehold. He doesn't have to apply much force because the boy doesn't struggle. He knows he's lost.

"You fight well," Erwin praises. "But why are you fighting as a criminal?"

The reply is sharp. "My reasons are none of your concern."

"Actually it is of my concern. I'm a Stationary Guard. It's my job to take care of problems like you."

"Then go ahead and '_take care'_ of me," is his quick reply, "You're supposed to kill me, right?"

Erwin's jaw tightens. The moment he figured out who the leader was he was expected to kill him on sight without any mercy—that was his order.

"Can't you do it?" the kid says. There is no emotion and there's no spite either. It's merely a question. Can Erwin kill a kid? _Will_ he kill him?

Erwin hesitates and then, "Come back with me and learn to be a soldier." Erwin surprises himself with his sudden offer but he doesn't take it back and waits for the kid's answer.

There's a beat of silence before the kid gives a bitter scoff. "Not interested."

"Why not? You would make a great fighter and you could do something better with your life." Erwin can almost feel the buzzing irritation building inside the kid under his arms.

"I fight only for myself."

"Isn't that selfish of you?"

"Yes," he dully agrees. "I'm a selfish person."

Erwin heaves an exasperated sigh. "Look, if you don't come back with me, I'll have to kill you," and he means it. He won't have any other choice—orders are orders. The kid tenses under his arms. It seems the resolute finality of Erwin's words has sunk in.

"I don't want to kill a kid but I will if I have to. The choice is yours."

* * *

Erwin has already locked the kid up in the small prison cell where he'll stay until tomorrow, when a trial will be held to decide his fate. Now, Erwin is sitting in the small Stationary Guard lounge, writing up the report for this mission. The lounge isn't nice, the budget wouldn't allow for that, but it's the place where all the guards like to take breathers and Erwin is in need of a break. Today's mission had been more stressful than he'd anticipated. He's glad that kid decided to cooperate in the end; his day _really_ wouldn't have ended well if he had chosen not to.

One of Erwin's comrades is sitting next to him, drinking something hot as he silently watches. Erwin can tell he wants to say something so he looks up.

"What do you want to ask me, Ian?"

Before Erwin is even finished speaking, Ian says, "Who's the boy?"

Erwin shrugs. "He refuses to tell me his name."

"And he's the one who was causing all that trouble underground?"

Erwin gives a confirming nod and Ian snorts. His hand reaches to the back of his head and he gives it a dubious scratch. Erwin knows how unbelievable the situation is. He'd felt the same thing the moment he learned the truth. How can a kid be the leader of such problematic trafficking?

"That's impressive."

"I think he has potential to be a great soldier."

Ian blinks. "Do you actually think they'll let a felon with such charges live?"

Erwin doesn't think they'll let him live on their own account but he will be there at the trial when they sentence him and he'll definitely persuade them.

"I'll convince the court to let me watch him."

Ian gives a doubtful shake of his head. "He's in too deep, Erwin."

It'll be difficult, Erwin knows, but he's not easily discouraged. He has faith in his ability of influence, whether it's by force or not. "We'll see."

The kid is alone at the stand, hands cuffed together in front of him with an expression wiped clean. He looks small with the large empty expanse around him. The jury glares and hiss angry curses. They have a right to be angry. This kid has cost people their money and precious goods. This single kid has flipped the entire gross revenue and the nobles are furious. Their money is being pumped into the outer walls now, away from themselves.

"Speak your name, boy," booms the round massive man that sits behind the judge's bureau.

"Levi." The name comes off strong and unafraid.

The judge leans forward, his beady eyes roving over every inch of Levi. "Last name?"

"Don't have one."

"Who are your parents?"

"Don't have any."

The judge unleashes a loud, exasperated scoff and leans back in his chair with his hands folded at the dip in his swollen stomach. "Then where the hell did you come from?"

Levi's shoulders lurch with a nonchalant shrug. "Nowhere I guess."

Now the judge is angry—there's a bulging vein in his temple and his ears redden. "Look you little piece of trash, do you understand the weight of the situation you're in right now? The consequence—"

"—is death. I already know that," and Levi's eyes are cold and hard, posture stoic and impassive, "I wouldn't have involved myself in something without knowing the possible outcomes of my choices. It was either death if I was caught or power and fortune if I succeeded. My only regret is being caught."

Levi's odd composure and detachment only acts as a catalyst for the judge's fury. He's red in the face and that bulbous vein at his temple bulges at a quick heated pace.

"Cheekiness won't get you anywhere here." He slams his mallet on the tabletop and looks to the jury. "What is your say?"

The courtroom erupts into angry shouts and accusations, fingers resentfully thrusting at Levi and he's just standing there, still and straightforward, without being penetrated by any of their words or insults. His eyes are jaded and lifeless just like they were when Erwin first found him. Finally, the judge slams the mallet and the room falls deafeningly silent. After clearing his throat, he addresses Levi.

"You will be gravely punished," he decrees. "But not by execution."

There are grumbles of discontent.

"A simple execution would be too merciful a fate for a criminal like you. I sentence you to fifty lashes."

Erwin's eyes widen. _Fifty_? On such a small kid? There's no way he'd survive such a brutal beating. "Wait!" he intercedes.

Every head in the room snaps in his direction but he ignores them all and addresses the judge directly. "Since he's caused so much trouble, why not force him to serve humanity for life. Make him into a soldier. He can atone for the sins he's committed and if he dies, an honorable soldier's life will be spared."

The judge takes some time to think this over. "Who says he'll cooperate?"

Erwin gazes at Levi. The kid is pointedly looking away from him. "I'll make sure he obeys. I'll break him in."

The judge's eyes taper cynically and he looks down the bridge of his crooked nose at him. "So you'll take responsibility over trash like him?"

Erwin's fist settles at his chest and his other arm bends behind his back in a strong salute. "Yes, I'll take full responsibility."

The judge's eyes zero-in on him as if trying to catch any faults or cracks in his stance. Erwin is firm. Without easing his hard look, the judge assents. "Very well. I put you in charge of him, however, I expect you to punish him thoroughly. Twelve lashings by your hand and a life of servitude."

No one in the jury objects and Erwin nods. "Yes sir."

Two other stationary guards appear by Levi's sides. They roughly shove him to his knees and tear open his shirt. They peel it down and over his scrawny shoulders, exposing his back. Slowly, and very much reluctantly, Erwin approaches the guards and one of them hands him the whip. He can't bring himself to take it and stares at it with a sinking feeling in his gut. The guard snorts and forces it into Erwin's palm.

"Let's not waste time," the judge says, and there are buzzing murmurs of agreement.

Erwin sighs and he stands a few meters away from Levi's small, kneeled form.

His stomach roils at the sight of Levi's bare back. It's smooth and unblemished. To mutilate young, innocent skin is wrong but he has no other choice. Erwin winds back his arm.

"Hurry up, Sergeant. We don't have all day."

Erwin growls under his breath and swiftly cracks the whip across Levi's back. A single red streak cuts into his flesh and blood beads at the gash. One down, eleven more to go. The whip pops against his back a second time. Levi's small body jolts from the impact and his muscles shake, but not a single sound is unleashed. He's completely quiet.

Once the lashings are finally over, the judge isn't satisfied but he's already decreed his judgment—he can't take it back. Levi had remained utterly silent. He never showed any weakness to the pain, exposing the judge as a fool. Erwin winds the bloodstained leather around his arm and sets it aside. He lowers into a crouch beside the bloodied, tattered mass of the kid. He reeks of blood and sweat, and his eyes are glazed over—the sign of barely holding onto consciousness. Erwin is impressed he hasn't already blacked out. Slowly, with careful deliberation, Erwin pulls his shirt back over his shoulders. Crimson quickly bleeds through the light material.

"He's mine now. Give me the keys to his cuffs."

A guard hands him the keys and Erwin immediately unlocks the shackles. The bony wrists are bruised and chafed from the heavy metal, and his arms fall loose at his sides.

"Levi, can you stand?"

Those dull eyes focus a moment on Erwin's and then he tilts forward, his body falling limp into Erwin's strong arms.

"That's alright. I'll carry you." He tucks an arm under Levi's knees and cradles him against his chest, careful not to irritate the gaping wounds that have yet to cease spilling blood.

* * *

Erwin draws the bath and once it's ready, he carefully sets Levi down in the water. He sits hunched over and unresponsive.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that," Erwin says as he runs lukewarm water over the bloodied wounds.

If Levi feels any pain, he doesn't openly react to it. At this point, his body is probably in too much shock to register any more pain. "Why would you be? It's not like you care about me. You don't even know me." He sounds drained and weak.

"You're right, I don't know you but you're my concern now. I'm responsible for your pain."

Levi turns to Erwin, eyes narrowed into a glare. "Do you expect gratitude from me?"

Erwin continues to clean out the wounds and answers honestly. "Of course not. I didn't act out of kindness. I'm not a kind person. I acted out of a sense of duty. You will be a soldier, and you'll either live to save another life or die in the place of one."

Levi continues to glare but no longer at Erwin. He's face forward, scowling indignantly at the wall. "I'm a slave to humanity then."

"Precisely," Erwin agrees.

* * *

"This is our room."

Levi's eyes roam the place and he doesn't say anything. Erwin gestures to the bunk beds against the wall.

"And those are our beds. You can choose which ever bunk you want."

Levi's eyes spark for a moment and then he looks at Erwin. "You'll let me choose?" And he sounds suspicious.

Erwin nods. "Take your pick."

Levi goes to the beds and automatically crawls to the top bunk. He sits with his legs spread out in front of him, his palms slowly roving over the sheets.

"This place is nice," he quietly says and then adds, "Clean too."

Erwin sits down on the edge of his bunk. He wonders if Levi has ever slept in a real bed before. Always on the run, travelling from place to place, he probably doesn't know what a proper bed feels like.

"I'm glad you like it."

They're silent for a long time, and then Erwin hears a low, soft sound come from the top bunk. He stands and peers over the edge. Levi is curled on his side, head pillowed by his folded arm, fast asleep. All of Levi's walls are down and he appears his own age for once. He looks like a normal, innocent, vulnerable kid. A smile makes its way on Erwin's face without his knowledge, and he sweeps the hair from out of Levi's peaceful face.

"You're…kind of charming in your own way."

* * *

"This is Commander Keith, he's the 12th commander of the Scouting Legion. You'll be training under his supervision during the day."

Dark circles are cut under severe eyes and shaggy, light hair frames his sharp face. He has a strong air about him that commands respect and fear from others. And his commanding eyes home in on Levi, but Levi isn't easily deterred.

"How old are you?" questions Commander Keith.

Levi looks away and doesn't reply.

"I asked you a question."

Levi's gaze returns to Keith and he appears a little reluctant. "…I don't know how old I am," he mutters.

Keith eyes him for a moment. "No matter. You're a runt in any case."

Levi doesn't react to the insult. Keith leans a bit closer and looks him dead in the eye. And Levi duly counters the stare, undaunted. After a long stare down, Keith straightens up and regards Erwin.

"He can start training tomorrow. The trainees are working on hand-to-hand combat."

"Great." That'll be perfect for Levi since that's exactly what he excels in the most.

Keith peers down at him from the corner of his eye. "But be warned little runt, if you step one foot out of line, you'll face dire consequences."

Levi doesn't reply.

"He'll be here bright and early tomorrow morning."

They start to walk away but Commander Keith says something more.

"Hey, Erwin, haven't you joined the Scouting Legion yet?"

The corner of Erwin's mouth pulls up slightly into a small humored smirk and he looks over his shoulder. "Aren't you growing tired of always trying to get me to transfer?"

Keith sighs. "I'm getting old, who else will be able to take my position once I retire?"

"There are plenty of other sergeants out there who'll gladly relieve you."

Keith scowls. "I don't trust anyone else's strategic mind. Just think about it."

"Of course."

They leave to return to headquarters and walk in silence until surprisingly, Levi is the one to break it.

"The Scouting Legion has a survival rate of less than fifty percent. Wouldn't it be stupid to join that branch?"

Erwin observes Levi from the corner of his eye. Levi isn't looking at him, his eyes are straightforward and he wears an impassive mask.

"Are you worried about me?"

Levi's head whirls in Erwin's direction, his eyes a fraction wider than they were a moment ago. And then they're hardened again. "Tch. No, I'm questioning your intelligence."

"I see. So you think going outside the walls is suicide."

There's no response.

"Tell me, are you content living as cattle restricted by boundaries?"

Levi regards him with a contemplative look. "No…that's not it." And he glances away. "Living like livestock isn't something I'm comfortable with, but who exactly is the real enemy?"

Erwin doesn't really understand. "What do you mean?"

Levi takes a moment to reply, eyes searching the empty air for the right words. "Titans are monsters and they need to be annihilated, but what about humans? They're cruel too."

And then Erwin understands. "You're very right. Even if humanity conquers the titan menace, the war won't be over. We'll continue to struggle as long as we exist. But that's life." Erwin knows Levi fully understands this; he's experienced it first-hand. Life is a constant struggle. It's a battle for survival and only the strongest will prevail in the end. And Erwin thinks Levi has exactly what it takes to prevail.

* * *

"Levi, try your best, alright?"

As Erwin had expected, Levi doesn't respond and he heads straight into the training grounds without sparing a second glance Erwin's way. Erwin silently watches. He'd felt Levi's tension the entire way here, but once they arrived, he didn't even hesitate to walk through the gates. This kid impresses Erwin more and more each day.

_"Who's the new guy?" _

_"He's so short!" _

_A few snickers. "He'll be eaten by titans for sure!"_

_"If he even makes it that far." _

_More snickers. _

Levi doesn't let their pointless whispering bother him. They're all just titan fodder anyway. Levi might not be here by choice but he _will_ survive. That's what he's best at—surviving no matter what. Levi won't die for anyone. He won't die for humanity and he definitely won't die for any of these idiots around him.

"Runt," calls Commander Keith. "You're supposed to spar with your squad members, not just stand there."

Levi sighs and walks to where the rest of the trainees are. Levi watches as two guys fight, only halfway paying attention. He lost interest the moment he saw their stances, being that they were mediocre at best. A crowd is drawn to this particular bout. The other trainees ogle in awe, and there are low murmurs of amazement. Levi can't believe that these idiots are actually impressed by these two amateurs.

Finally, one of them lands the other on his back and wins the spar. There's an eruption of cheers and whoops of approval from the spectators. Levi rolls his eyes and snorts. This had been a waste of his time. He turns on his heel and starts to walk away.

"Hold it, new guy," comes a voice from behind him.

Levi pauses and looks over his shoulder. The guy who just won the spar he'd been watching breaks through the crowd of people and approaches him. His eyes are narrowed and his lip is curled up into a scowl.

"What's with that bored look of yours? Think you can do better?" he growls.

"I know I can," Levi blandly replies.

He keeps walking and there's a viscous grip on his shoulder. "What did you say?"

"You're deaf and can't fight? How pitiful."

He's jerked around and is face to face with a blackened glare. "That was an incredibly stupid thing to say. I challenge you."

Levi just stares at him with unwavering blank eyes. "You're wasting my time," he finally says. And he turns to leave.

The grip is on his shoulder again and he's shoved forward. Levi stumbles and there are a few gasps from the people watching.

"Just as I thought, you're all bark and no bite."

Levi straightens up and slowly turns to face him. There's a feral gleam to his eye as he mutters, "Fine. I'll make this quick."

And the asshole laughs without humor. "You plan on losing quickly then?"

Levi doesn't respond, instead, he stands there with his arms held loosely at his sides. The guy spreads his feet and holds his fists in front of his face. They scrutinize each other in complete silence. The crowd around them collectively holds their breath until the guy finally lunges and swings his fist with all of his might at Levi. Levi easily ducks out of the way and thrusts his knee into the side of the guy's leg, and he staggers to the side, thrown completely off balance.

Levi coolly watches as he regains his poise and quickly rebounds with another punch. Levi catches his arm, twists him around, and hurls him over his shoulder. The movement had been so fast that it'd been a dizzying blur to the watching eye. The breath is knocked from the trainee and he groans in pain. Without another glance his way, Levi turns his back and begins walking away.

"Bastard! I'm not through with you!"

Levi is jumped from behind and the guy has him around the neck in a tight chokehold. _What a cheap move_, Levi thinks bitterly. He slams the back of his head against the guy's face and there's a sickening crunch. The guy howls and releases him. Levi then turns and lands a fist to his gut. The guy falls to his knees, blood streaming from his nose and holding tight to his stomach. He screams in agony.

Commander Keith is there and the guy resentfully points at Levi. "That guy suddenly hit me! I wasn't even looking!"

Levi freezes. _What? _This guy has no shame. Just because he lost the fight he's going to spout lies and get Levi punished?

"Is this true?" Commander Keith asks the other trainees standing around them.

They all avert their eyes and don't respond. Slowly, Keith turns around to Levi. "Think that you don't need to play fairly because you're a criminal, is that it?"

Levi doesn't answer. It won't do any good to deny it. He won't believe him anyway. Keith gets right in front of Levi and raises a backhand. Levi remains completely still, eyes falling shut as that hand comes at him. But when he doesn't feel the sting of a whack across the cheek, he blinks. Keith hadn't hit him. Instead, he pats him on the top of his head.

"You've done well." Then he whirls on his heel and frowns at the rest of the recruits. "As for the rest of you, I'm greatly disappointed. You knew the truth and refused to stand up for your comrade. As for _you_," he addresses the asshole that's still on the ground with a bloody nose, "You aren't soldier material. If you can't lose with dignity then you shouldn't be here."

The guy's eyes fall and his teeth clench tight.

* * *

Levi walks in the direction of the Stationary Guard headquarters. It's late and the streets are empty. He walks without really paying attention to where he's going. His feet seem to know the way. He walks for a while more and then pauses.

"I know you're following me, what do you want?" He doesn't turn around to look at the person tailing him. He already knows who it is—actually who _they_ are because there's more than one of them.

"Guess you're not clueless after all."

The asshole he'd fought earlier is there with a small group of some other trainees he vaguely recognizes but hadn't cared enough to learn their names. They surround him. Levi folds his arms over his chest and lazily rolls his head to the side, a disgusted look etching into his face.

"Huh, and you're the people who are supposed to _save_ humanity? For some reason, I thought you'd be better than me. Guess we're all just trash then."

"No, we're not like you," the asshole says.

"Clearly," Levi coolly replies. "If you were, you wouldn't be so pathetic."

The asshole's fists are in front of his face and he's in that amateurish battle stance of his. The other recruits ready themselves too. Fine, if these idiots want a fight, they'll get one. The asshole is the first to attack and Levi isn't at all surprised. The guy is too impulsive.

Levi ducks and kicks the guy's legs out from under him while twisting out of another person's reach. He elbows a person behind him in the gut and jerks someone else's arm, quickly throwing him to the side. Limbs and fists wildly and unsystematically without any kind of refinement sling at Levi, and he counters each one with deliberate, proficient movements and bouts. But he's outnumbered and these kids are infinitely pissed off now, and he doesn't see the knife that the asshole has clutched in his hand. Levi freezes when he feels the familiar cold point of a blade at his back.

"You've lost, you bastard," the asshole growls.

Levi glimpses over his shoulder at him with a deadpan. "You only pull knives on people if you intend to kill them," he remarks. "Do you intend to kill me?"

The kid falters at the chilling detachment in Levi's tone.

"_I've_ killed people. So, I know when someone is bluffing."

And fear flickers in the guy's eyes. For a long time none of them speak, no one moves, no one even dares to breathe.

"Hey! What's going on here?" comes a deep, authoritative voice.

The trainees' heads snap in the direction and they see Erwin as he quickly approaches. They gasp and bolt, leaving Levi alone in the alley. Levi watches as Erwin comes closer.

"What the hell happened? Was that a knife?" Erwin demands. His eyes are on the empty alley where the kids ran down as if they'll suddenly reappear if he looks hard enough.

Levi ignores the questions. "I had it under control."

Erwin's eyes return to Levi and his brow twitches. "Yeah, it sure looked that way," he retorts, tone heavy with sarcasm.

Levi scowls. "I can handle my own problems," he snaps bitterly.

"Your problems are my problems. You're under my custody now."

A moment of tense, angry silence ensues, and then Erwin clutches Levi's jaw and inspects his face, tilting it from side to side. "Did they hurt you?"

Levi knocks his hand away with a scoff. "As if any of those idiots could actually lay a hand on me."

Erwin nods. He already knew Levi would be too strong for the other recruits. He didn't have any reason to worry about him being overwhelmed but… "Did _you_ hurt any of _them_?"

Levi doesn't answer right away.

"Levi…" Erwin slowly draws out with growing apprehension.

Levi crosses his arms over his chest and turns a cheek. "I didn't hurt any of them too badly. Just a few bruises."

"Good."

"But I wanted to," he adds, the muscle in his jaw tightening.

Erwin can practically feel the volatile bloodlust radiating off Levi. This part of this kid…his bloodlust and rage—in the future he can put it to good use when fighting titans.

That's why Erwin repeats, "Good," and means it. He wants to cultivate that part of Levi. But he also has to put a cap on it. It wouldn't be wise to let this kid's rage run rampant. Levi shoots him a bewildered look. Clearly, he hadn't thought Erwin would approve of his blatant savagery.

"When you're a soldier, I want you to channel all of your blood thirst and unleash it upon titans." He pauses. "But until that time, control it, understand?"

Levi stares at him unblinkingly. "Ditto."

* * *

Today's training is different. They aren't working on their hand-to-hand combating skills and they're not just practicing maneuvering around with their gear. They're going to be using their gear in an actual setting with a fixed goal. A portion of the town has been marked off and they're using it as a training course. They'll be able to use the buildings to grapple to and the expanse is large enough to mimic a real life situation.

Constructed objects of varying sizes are dispersed and hidden in different areas of the course and are supposed to represent titans. There is a firing mechanism triggered by nearby movement and red paint will shoot out toward the position of the movement. This is the titan's 'attack', and if even a drop of that paint stains a trainee's uniform, he or she is considered dead. The way to kill a 'titan' is to hit the target on the back of its neck and the firing mechanism will disengage.

"I'm going to split you off into teams and your goal is to retrieve the flag at the end of the course. You'll have to 'slay' the 'titans' in your path while avoiding their attacks, understand? Each team will go one at a time."

Levi is with a group of four other people—three guys and one girl. He doesn't know any of their names and doesn't care to know them either. One of the guys in the group had tried to make conversation, but Levi merely stared at him and walked off. He leans against the wall and waits patiently for their group to be called.

"Team 3 is up," announces Keith and Levi pushes off the wall.

His team lines up at the starting line on the rooftops and Levi's eyes scan the area. He immediately spots 'titans' to his right and left. He draws a path in his mind of the simplest and quickest route. And then a whistle blows—the starting signal—and he's off.

His teammates also zip ahead and one of them gets in Levi's way. There's a titan just ahead and his teammate doesn't see it. His motion activates it and paint is fired at them. Levi barely misses it as he leaps over his teammate's head. He whirls around and hits the target on the back of the 'titan', disabling it.

He bypasses his teammate and heads to the flag. More titans appear but he easily arcs around their attacks. Red paint splatters the walls around him and jet out in all directions but he's too quick for the fake titans to keep up with him. He grabs the flag then lands on the ground at the finish line. But Commander Keith isn't smiling. His expression is dark.

"You think you've done well, don't you?" he accuses.

Levi shrugs. "I retrieved the flag. That was the goal, wasn't it?"

"You've misunderstood the purpose of this drill. The true purpose of this exercise is to establish teamwork and trust between comrades, and devise strategies to accomplish the mission together. You've failed miserably."

Levi scowls. "Tch, why does that matter? I have the flag." And he thrusts it at Keith as if Keith doesn't already see it.

"But how many of your teammates are still alive?"

Levi turns to look at his team. All of them have been doused by the dark red paint that so closely resembles blood it churns Levi's stomach.

"If you can't work with others, then you'll be nothing but a burden on the battlefield."

* * *

_Keith had found Erwin before Levi was released from training. _

_"Good evening, Commander." _

_Keith nodded as a greeting and didn't beat around the bush as he said, "Erwin, that runt you've taken under your wing doesn't work well with others, and that's greatly understated." _

_Erwin wasn't at all surprised. "I'll talk to him." _

Erwin sits at the edge of his bunk with a towel draped over the back of his neck. It collects the water that drips down from his damp hair. The door opens and Levi files in with soaked hair and flushed cheeks, clothed in simple slacks paired with a thin shirt. He's climbing to the top bunk when Erwin stops him.

"Sit next to me," he says.

Levi hesitates with a questioning look and reluctantly does as he's told. The bed dips a little with Levi's added weight. He sits with his hands clutching the side of the mattress and stares off at the wall.

"I respect a man's privacy, that's why I haven't pushed you into telling me about your past." Erwin feels Levi grow rigid next to him. "And I'm still not going to push you," he quickly reassures him, "But I wonder how a kid can live the way you do—detached and alone. Aren't you tired?"

Levi's face is a blank and his only response is silence.

Erwin clears his throat. "But that's not what I wanted to talk to you about. I want to talk about your training today. Keith says you refuse to work with your comrades."

Levi still doesn't say anything so Erwin continues. "You have to trust your comrades."

Then Levi's head flicks in his direction, his bottom lip pulling down into a scowl. "They're not my comrades," he snaps.

"Why do you say that?"

Levi's shoulders expand with a long breath and his dull eyes are back on the wall. "They don't like me." His voice is neutral and low like he doesn't care, but for some reason, Erwin doubts that's true.

"That's because you frighten them. You never hold back."

Levi is slow to reply. "Do you think the world will show them mercy once they're soldiers?"

Erwin wonders if Levi is showing the other recruits compassion in his own way. His cruelty could be his way of preparing them for what he knows will come. But kids his age don't normally understand the reality of the world they live in. Levi is different; he's not really a kid at all, he just has the body of one.

"The world hasn't been kind to you, has it?"

Levi doesn't reply. His expression reveals nothing of what he's thinking or how he feels and he won't meet Erwin's gaze. Erwin extends a hand and rests it on Levi's small shoulder.

"The world is cruel, I think we can agree on that, but that doesn't mean we can't trust in others."

Levi doesn't respond right away then after shrugging off Erwin's grip, he finally mutters, "Fine, I'll try."

* * *

Another day of teamwork and when Levi approaches his teammates, they avoid his eyes and shift uncomfortably. Obviously, they don't want him there. They set up at the start line and the whistle blows.

"This time, I'll cover your backs and stay behind. Half of you should split right and the other half go left. There's a titan dead ahead and one to our left side. If the group on the right circles around, they should be able to sneak up on the one to our left and kill it, while the other group should take care of the one in front of us. Got it?"

His teammates gape at him in shock.

"What? Did I stutter?"

Then their eyes narrow with determination and they do exactly as Levi says. Levi holds back and watches. He's quick and will be able to get to his teammates' sides in a blink if they need him.

There's a small, hidden titan on the right—one Levi hadn't spotted earlier and one of his teammates is headed right towards it. Levi shoots over there and right before the titan can spray paint at her, Levi wrenches her out of the way, narrowly missing the shot. Her brown eyes are wide in shock, her mouth falling open.

"Y-You saved me," she breathlessly chokes, "Thank you."

Levi stiffens at the genuinely grateful look in her round eyes. "Sure."

The whistle blows announcing the end of the mission, and one of Levi's other teammates holds up the flag with a triumphant grin.

"Well done. It's a new record," Keith announces.

His teammates give each other high fives and congratulatory slaps on the backs. Levi turns away and heads off to the back of the grounds where he normally lingers.

"Hey, where you going?" There's a gentle hand on his wrist and he turns around. The girl with the dirty blonde hair that he saved is smiling at him. "Without your leadership we wouldn't have made it."

The other teammates overhear her and nod in agreement. "Yeah, you've got damn sharp eyes. I didn't see any of those titans."

Levi is stunned into silence. He's actually being praised by his teammates? They circle around him and the girl sticks out her hand.

"I'm Shanni," she says.

Levi hesitantly shakes her hand. He learns all of their names; there's Wesley, Rafael a.k.a Rafa, and Jan. They all shake hands and welcome him with warm smiles.

"Let's stick together," Rafa says. And they all eagerly nod in agreement; even Levi doesn't dislike the suggestion. He decides he probably wouldn't mind keeping the company of this particular crowd.

* * *

"So how'd training go?"

Levi is quiet so Erwin glances at him. The sharp features of his face have softened considerably. "I trusted my comrades," he quietly replies.

"And?"

"They don't hate me."

The corners of Erwin's mouth perk up a bit. "Well that's an improvement. How do you feel about _them_?"

Levi stiffens a little. "I… don't hate them either," he admits.

Erwin laughs. "I'm glad to hear that." There's a short comfortable silence and then Erwin murmurs, "I'm proud of you."

Levi gazes up at him with widened eyes.

"You've done well."

Levi's eyes dart away without saying anything. Erwin ruffles his hair and Levi doesn't flinch away from the physical contact like he normally does. If anything, he moves a little closer to Erwin's side.


	2. Chapter 2

ii. The Middle of the Beginning

"Happy Birthday Erwin."

Levi whirls and gapes at him.

Erwin doesn't seem to notice as he politely smiles at Ian. "Thank you."

"The squad is throwing you a party in the lounge and everything."

There's a twitch at Erwin's brow. "Is that so?"

Ian smirks. "Yeah, they've got a whole pack of booze too. I might just check it out later."

The muscle in Erwin's jaw flexes, and Levi thinks that his smile seems strained. "Feel free to drink as much as you want."

And then after patting Erwin on the shoulder, Ian leaves.

"You don't want to celebrate your birthday?" Levi questions. He doesn't understand. Most people enjoy celebrating their birthdays. Personally, Levi has never had the experience so he can't really say whether or not it's enjoyable.

"I don't like parties," Erwin says. "They're more trouble than they're worth." Then Erwin sighs and looks down at Levi. "In any case, we might as well get this over with. After all, it only happens once a year." Then under his breath he adds, "Good thing too…"

It seems like all of the Stationary Guards from the district are there, and they all cheer for Erwin and hand him small packages. Levi knows that they must be gifts, and suddenly he feels like he should give something to Erwin too, although he doesn't know why he feels that way. It's not like he cares about Erwin. Because of him, Levi will have to fight in the name of humanity for the rest of his life. But then again, if it weren't for Erwin he probably wouldn't be alive right now either.

"Hey, Levi."

Levi turns and Erwin is at his level. He holds out something small, round, and dark in color in the palm of his hand. Levi stares at it without comprehending what it is.

"You're supposed to eat it."

Levi's brows pull together suspiciously. "I'll pass."

Erwin holds it up to his mouth. "Just try it."

The strong scent is strange. Levi has never smelled something like this before. He doesn't know how to describe it, but his mouth waters as a physiological response from the bizarre aroma, so he opens his mouth and Erwin pops it inside.

Whatever it is, it's soft and melts on Levi's tongue, and it has a sweet taste. He slowly chews and swallows as Erwin watches him closely. When the sweet flavor tinges Levi's taste buds, his eyes noticeably spark, and Erwin can tell he likes it no matter how much effort he puts into trying to conceal it— that one look betrays him.

"Did you like it?" he asks even though he already knows the answer.

Levi glances away. "…What was it?"

"It's called chocolate." He holds out a larger bar of chocolate and splits it in half. "Here, you can have the other half."

Levi hesitantly takes it. "Was it a present?"

Erwin nods, and Levi tries to hand it back to him. "It's not meant for me then. It's for you."

Erwin holds Levi's hand and deliberately encloses Levi's fingers around the bar. With a kind smile he says, "I want you to have it."

The look in Erwin's eyes is too sincere for Levi; he can't keep the eye contact and looks away. "Thanks."

Erwin ruffles his hair and straightens up when someone calls his name.

"Drink up, birthday boy," says some woman Levi doesn't recognize as she thrusts a bottle into Erwin's hands.

Erwin laughs and Levi thinks he seems too friendly with this woman. Since when did Erwin interact so freely with others? Erwin always seemed cold and reserved but today, he's smiling and seems to be enjoying himself. Is it because it's his birthday?

Erwin and the woman clank their bottles together and take long gulps. They must have made a toast to something and Levi missed out on what they said. He doesn't care, but Levi can't help noticing the way the woman's eyes brighten and scope out Erwin as she gulps down her drink like he's a piece of meat. Idiot woman… Doesn't she realize Erwin isn't interested in others?

"Hey, you little delinquent, how about you join in on the fun too?" Ian offers Levi a cup filled to the brim with fizzing liquor.

"No, Ian, he's underage," Erwin scolds, automatically snatching the cup from out of his hand.

"I used to drink all the time," Levi counters bitterly. He can handle his alcohol just as well as any of these men around here. He might be young and small but he's definitely not a lightweight.

"I knew it," Ian says, taking the cup from Erwin. "He's one of us."

He hands the cup to Levi and he gingerly takes it, shooting daring looks at Erwin, but Erwin merely quirks a thick brow at him.

Levi brings the cup to his mouth but before he chugs it down Erwin says, "You do know alcohol stunts growth, right?"

And Levi freezes.

A snort bursts from Ian and he slaps Levi on the shoulder. "Leave him alone, Erwin," he chides with a grin. "He's just messing with you."

Levi turns a cheek and scoffs. "I knew that."

The corners of Erwin's mouth pull up into a small smirk. "But really, I can't allow you to drink alcohol. I could lose my job."

"As if you would actually be fired," the woman laughs. Levi had almost forgotten she was still there. "You're irreplaceable." And there's a sparkle in her eye that annoys Levi for some reason.

"I don't think he's that important," Levi mutters.

Ian throws his head back in an uncontrollable fit of laughter, and Erwin tugs on Levi's ear.

"Nobody asked you."

"Ow!" Levi growls, knocking Erwin's hand away.

"He's the most respected sergeant of the Stationary Guard," the woman says with a deep frown.

Levi gives a casual shrug. "Am I supposed to be impressed?"

The woman is clearly annoyed with the way Levi speaks about Erwin. "You should be honored to be under his care."

Levi's face darkens. The buoyant atmosphere around them abruptly ends and it's suddenly tense. This woman doesn't have a goddamn clue about him. "Honored? You think I should feel honored to be here? I have to live my life fighting for people I don't give a damn about. I'm not _honored_ about _anything_."

The woman's mouth clamps shut with an audible snap and she jabs a sharpened fingernail at him. "Well, you know what? No one gives a damn about you either. Trash will always be trash."

Levi's hands clench into tight fists and the muscles ripple up his forearms. As if sensing his urge to hit this woman, Erwin rests a hand on his shoulder and keeps him still.

"That's enough. You've gone too far, Penn."

The woman gapes at Erwin in bewildered shock. "_I've _gone too far? Did you not hear what that brat just said about you?"

Erwin is cold as he speaks to her. "I heard every word. And he's right."

Levi's eyes drop to the floor.

"He doesn't have anything to be grateful for. He's merely a pawn for humanity to use."

Levi's teeth grind together and he can't bear to listen anymore. He turns on his heel and leaves. He's out the door then blindly heading down the hall. He finds himself outside. The cool night breeze rustles through his hair, cooling the sweat that has beaded at his hairline. He feels sick to his stomach. That woman was right. He really is trash... No one gives a damn about a delinquent kid.

He walks around the side of the building and presses his back against the cold brick. For a while there, he actually believed that he belonged here, that he belonged by Erwin's side. He was a fool to believe he could belong anywhere but in the slums where trash belongs. He angrily slams the back of his fist into the wall, his flesh scuffing away. Why didn't that bastard just kill him that day? Why didn't he let that judge whip him to death? Why did he _save_ him?

"What are you doing out here?"

Levi doesn't look up at Erwin but he senses him approach. He feels a tall body lean against the wall next to him. "Are you alright?"

The only response is silence.

"Don't listen to what other people say. They don't understand your situation."

Levi laughs blackly. "Because only trash can understand trash, right?"

Erwin whirls. "Levi, you're not trash."

Levi scowls, finally looking up at Erwin. "I'm not like you. I'm not like any of you." And his voice is cold and impassive, "I'm not here by choice. I'm not here to try and redeem humanity's honor or some bullshit like that. I'm just…" Levi's eyes fall and he turns quiet, "…a pawn."

Erwin looks at him in silence for a long time, and then he bends low, becoming eye level with Levi. He tucks a finger under his chin, pulling his eyes to his. "Your life isn't your own anymore. You will serve as humanity's soldier until you die. So yes, you are a pawn, but as a pawn you play a fundamental role in this world. Humanity needs a soldier to fight unconditionally without any sense of fear. And you will be that soldier, do you understand?"

Levi doesn't answer.

"And I will _always_ be by your side."

Levi's eyes widen a fraction, and Erwin gives him a small smile. "You're my responsibility, alright?"

Levi moves from out of Erwin's grip with a sigh. "Yeah..."

* * *

"Team Runt versus Team Darius," Keith announces.

Levi's team heads to the starting line. Today they are racing through an obstacle course using their maneuvering gear. Teams go two at a time and compete to finish first. The team that reins supreme over all the rest is exempt from endurance training for the day and is allowed to leave early. Levi's team is competing for first place against one other team. This is the final race.

The team they are competing against is headed by Darius, the asshole that insists on harassing Levi at every chance he gets. Darius has improved, just as they all have, but he still has a long way to go before he's at Levi's level.

"Look at Darius, he's shooting daggers at you, Levi," says Wesley with a snicker. "Man, he _really_ doesn't like you."

Levi shrugs.

"He's obsessed, I think he might actually be in love," Jan teases.

"I think it's so mean! He's always giving you trouble. Don't let him get to you," Shanni adds with her bottom lip jutted out in an angry pout.

Levi disregards their comments. "Focus. We need to figure out the simplest way through the course. Rafa, did you check our gear? Are we in good shape or should we refill our gas tanks?"

"We've got plenty of gas."

"Good. Listen closely."

Levi draws a path through the course; the one he thinks will be the quickest and simplest way possible. He's quiet so the other team can't listen in and when he's through, his team regards him with firm determination lining their brows and jaws set tight. Levi likes the fiery looks in their eyes. He actually believes they can face anything as long as they work together.

"Alright teams, set your mark!"

Levi's team lines up and Darius's team follows.

"Hey, don't slip up," Darius sneers from beside Levi.

"Worried about me?"

Darius scoffs bitterly. "Yeah, I feel bad. I don't know how you can see past the starting line from way down there." And he towers over Levi, looking down from the corner of his eye at him, but Levi's eyes are straightforward in a deadpan.

"Your pathetic attempts at insulting me are shameful."

The whistle blows and they both shoot off. Levi is quickly in the lead and his team is close behind. Darius's team decided to take a different route and the distance between the two teams increases. Victory is just at Levi's fingertips when suddenly Shanni cries out.

He whips around and sees her flailing body plummeting to the ground. Without any hesitation, he turns and hurtles toward her. He snatches her from out of the air before she can hit the ground and safely lands. Shanni holds tight to his neck, and he can feel her heart racing in her chest from the sudden fall.

"What happened?" he demands.

Shanni is breathless as she shakes her head. "I-I don't know!"

There are shouts overhead. Darius's team is celebrating their win, but Levi couldn't care less about that.

He inspects Shanni and makes sure she's not injured. "Are you okay?"

She nods. The rest of Levi's team is there.

"What the hell happened?"

"Check her gear."

Rafa is on his knees, fingers scaling over every inch of her equipment and then he freezes. "Her gas tank is empty."

"What? I thought you said we all had plenty of gas left?"

Rafa nods his head. "We did! I swear I checked, and all of our tanks were over halfway filled."

Levi kneels beside Rafa and inspects the tanks alongside him.

"I promise she had enough gas when we started," Rafa insists in a low voice.

"I believe you." Levi ducks low and his hands deliberately feel over the cylindrical gas tanks on the sides. His fingers snag on something sharp at the corner and he picks at it. When it comes loose, he brings it close to his face.

"A dart?" It's a small, almost imperceptible blow dart.

"Someone must have lodged it into Shanni's tank when we weren't looking!" Wesley exclaims.

Levi nods and he thinks he knows just who it was.

"It was Darius, wasn't it?" Shanni quietly says, voicing the exact name they all had on their minds.

"There's no doubt it was that asshole!" Jan snarls, his hands clenching into fists. "I'm gonna fucking kill him!"

Levi grabs his wrists and stops him short. "Don't. It's pointless fighting him. He doesn't give up."

"Then what the hell do we do?"

Levi is calm and composed as he replies, "We do nothing."

"You're just gonna let him walk all over you, Levi?"

They all stare at him. They all want him to do something, it's clear. But Levi won't do anything right now. Not when his team is involved. Darius could have seriously injured Shanni so he'll confront Darius on his own.

"I'll take care of it."

* * *

_Erwin finds Ian in the lounge. _

_"Hey Ian, do you mind picking up Levi from training today? I've been called on a mission. It shouldn't be too difficult so I'll be back later in the night." _

_"Sure, sure," Ian replies with a distracted wave of his hand. _

_"Thanks." And Erwin leaves to prepare. _

Levi approaches Darius. "We need to talk," he says.

A sour sneer twists Darius's face and he crosses his arms over his chest. "Feeling sore about losing?"

Levi's stoic attitude doesn't change. "Meet me after training." He leaves without sparing him a second glance.

Because Darius's team won the race, his team was let out early and Levi can only hope that Darius decided to stick around until the rest of them have been released. Levi heads out the gate, and right as he's outside the training grounds, Darius is at his side. Neither one speaks for a moment.

"Follow me," Levi says in a low voice.

Darius follows and they walk together to an abandon alleyway. About midway down Levi stops and turns on his heel to face Darius.

"You punctured Shanni's gas tank."

Darius visibly stiffens then crosses his arms with an unkind smirk. "You can't prove that."

Levi's eyes are cold and narrowed critically. "No, I can't, but I know it was you."

Darius gives a shrug. "What'cha gonna do about it?"

The glare on Levi's face deepens. "You can hassle me all you want but involving others is low. I knew you were pathetic but I didn't think you were _that_ pathetic."

Darius snorts but he doesn't say anything.

"What the hell do you want from me?" Levi demands, taking a step forward. "I haven't done anything to you."

Darius hisses between grit teeth and his face twists with black hatred. "You humiliated me!" he snarls. "And I want to repay the favor."

Suddenly, they aren't alone anymore. Darius's team is with them and they circle around Levi. Levi's eyes dart from one face to the next. He holds himself a little higher, his arms falling slack at his sides.

"Fine. Do what you want."

Darius's eyes slit in suspicion. "What? You're not going to fight back?"

Levi's voice is dull and steady. "This is the only opportunity you'll ever get. Take it or leave it."

And then a wide, cruel smile breaks across Darius's face and he unleashes a chilling cackle. "I never took you as the masochistic type." Darius clutches tightly onto Levi's jaw and forces his face upward so that he has to stretch onto his toes. "I'll thoroughly enjoy myself as I beat into you."

They move in on Levi with predatory glints sparking in their dark eyes.

* * *

"You're squad members of Levi's right?" Ian asks.

The two boys nod.

"Have you seen him?"

They look at each other for a moment before replying. "Yeah, he already left."

"Oh really? Hmm, alright thanks for your help." Ian feels a little guilty. He had forgotten about Levi and so he was late picking him up. But Levi isn't helpless. He can take care of himself. So, Ian heads back to headquarters without another thought about the kid.

Levi staggers down the old alley, slowly passing by dark buildings on either sides of him. Those bastards bruised him up quite a bit. There's a painful stitch in his side that snags on every breath, and his elbows and knees are all scratched up. He gasps for air and blood drips from his arms and legs as his feet drag forward. This isn't the first time he's gotten the shit beaten out of him. He's had his fair share of defeats. But never has he willingly let a group of guys pound into him like that. And they didn't hold back either.

"Shit…" he hisses through his teeth and spits out a mouthful of blood. At this rate, he'll never make it back to headquarters. Where is Erwin anyway? He normally picks him up right after training. Did he forget about him?

The hairs on the back of Levi's neck suddenly prickle and he hears muffled footsteps behind him. Someone is trying to sneak up on him but Levi isn't easy to take off guard, not even in the lowly state that he's currently in is he someone to be messed with. He whirls around and kicks this person in the gut, but he has too many injuries as it is. He isn't in any condition to fight—his ankle gives and he falls.

The man he kicked is wheezing for breath and has an arm wrapped around his torso. "Little bastard fucking kicked me," he cries in a mix of anger and bewildered shock.

There are two of them, and the man Levi hadn't kicked snickers. "He's a feisty fellow ain't he?"

Levi uses all the strength he has left to pull himself to his feet— he sways a little but at least he's standing. He looks at these guys. He vaguely recognizes one of them, although the guy probably doesn't recognize Levi. Levi was always careful to conceal his identity when meeting with other convicts. The one he kicked had once wanted to do business with Levi back when Levi had been smuggling money and goods from the inner wall. But this man hadn't been in the same line of work as Levi. He sold women as sex toys to clergymen, and Levi refused to get involved in that sort of thing. He didn't agree with selling people like livestock.

"He looks like he's gonna collapse, huh. Looks like someone got tuh him 'fore we did."

"That just makes our job easier. We'll sell him to those noble perverts deep in the capital."

Levi stiffens. What did that bastard just say?

"But he ain't very pretty, he's all scarred up. Don't think he'll be worth much."

"Trust me, there's always someone willing to pay."

Levi needs to get out of here but his feet won't budge. His knees tremble under his weight. And then he's grabbed by one of the men. He jerks in an attempt to free himself and his arm is twisted uncomfortably to the side. Levi tries to move from out of the tight hold, but he's bent further out of shape and it hurts.

"Keep him still, will you?"

He's held so tightly that his ribs crunch into his lungs. Then something sharp is stuck into the underbelly of his elbow. He turns his head to see what it is. It's a syringe filled with some kind of fluid and all of that fluid is shot up Levi's veins. It burns like hell but he's too tired to even make a sound. A few seconds pass, and shortly he feels unbelievably light like he could just float away.

His body slacks against the men's holds and he's carried into one of the empty townhouses around the corner. He's placed on the wooden floor as the men talk above him. He can hear their voices but he can't make out words, everything is muffled inside his head. His skull feels heavy, his thoughts are fuzzy, and he feels unbearably hot.

"Check the merchandise and estimate a price."

"Roger."

Hands are on Levi and they swiftly rip apart his shirt and pull his lifeless arms from out of the sleeves. Levi is breathing hard. His chest hurts from the banging of his heart and his body won't move. He feels like he's drowning. Rough fingers run along his sides and lift him up for a second then settle him back on the floor.

"He's gotta' decent body type. He's small but he's fuckin' stacked with muscle."

"Good, that means he won't be easily broken. Normally the small ones don't last very long. Check what 'class' he is."

A snicker comes from the guy looming over Levi. "My favorite part."

He tugs at Levi's trousers and even through the fog in Levi's head, he knows what's happening. With every ounce of strength that he has in his drained body, he wrenches away and punches the guy in the face. The guy yelps and then slams Levi's wrists above his head.

"This little fucker's too strong. No client'll be able tuh handle 'im."

"Here, use this."

And then another needle is shoved into Levi's arm. Fire rushes into his veins again and he grits his teeth. His heart beats even faster and he wants to scream out.

"For such a small bastard, he's got a high tolerance."

The guy is messing with Levi's pants again and he feels fingers at his lower back slip underneath his waistband. He's never felt this helpless before. Once Levi can move again, he'll definitely kill them all. And he'll enjoy every precious moment of it.

From out of nowhere, there's a loud bang that pierces Levi's head. It's too loud. And the man that had been touching him is gone. There's the sound of shuffling feet and a struggle, curses and then it's quiet again.

"Levi?"

Levi knows that voice. He tries to move but his muscles are too heavy. He struggles to fight the force of gravity working against every muscle fiber in his body but it's useless. He can't do it.

"Isn't that the delinquent kid? Don't tell me he's involved himself in kidnapping and sex trade now."

Erwin gently takes Levi's head in his hands and examines his face. Levi's eyes are unfocused and half-lidded, and his cheeks are flushed bright with color.

"Dammit," he growls. He glares at the two men they have cuffed together. "Which one of you did this?"

The two don't reply and then Erwin is on his feet, fisting both of their collars in each of his hands. "I'll kill you both if one of you doesn't speak up."

And then they start accusing each other and making up offbeat excuses. Erwin throws them both to the ground and lands a boot hard on each of their stomachs. They groan and wheeze pathetically.

"I lied. I'm going to kill the both of you anyway." His foot raises over one of their skulls.

"Erwin! Don't!"

But he doesn't stop, his foot comes slamming down and he feels the crunch of the guy's skull beneath his boot. It shatters. Blood and brains pool at his feet. The other guy unleashes a bloodcurdling scream and desperately tries to move away from the corpse, but he's still chained to it. The other guard almost turns over and retches at the sight, but restrains himself.

"Erwin! You can't just kill witnesses!" he shouts with a green tint to his face.

Erwin is stony and merciless as he replies. "We only need one." And then he returns to Levi's side.

He squats down and buttons up his shirt. He's all bruised up and deathly still. A black glare twists Erwin's face and his teeth gnash together as he picks up Levi and carries him away.

When they're back in their room, he lays Levi down on his bunk. He's not sure what kind of drugs are in Levi's system and he's worried Levi's body won't be able to handle the toxin—he's such a small kid. All Erwin can do is let it run its course and hope Levi can fight it off. He's strong so he knows he can do it.

"…unng."

Erwin twists around to check on Levi.

His eyelids twitch and then they slowly break open. His sharp eyes slowly focus on Erwin. "…it's hot." He tugs at the blankets around him and pulls them off. Then he's yanking at his clothes and Erwin stops him.

"You've been drugged."

Levi pauses. "I know that." And he sounds as coherent and detached as he normally does, but his face is still red and his eyes are still cloudy so the drugs still haven't flushed out completely.

"I want to take a cold bath," he says. And he tries to sit up but then suddenly lurches over the side of the bed and dry heaves. He has nothing in his stomach so nothing comes out.

Without warning, Erwin is cradling him against his chest and Levi gasps in shock.

"Put me down!" he protests, but Erwin doesn't listen as he carries Levi to the washroom.

He turns on the water and the bath quickly fills. Levi is breathing hard, his chest rises and falls at a pace much too quickly to be safe.

"Levi, you have to calm your breathing."

Levi shakes his head and claws at his chest, right over his heart. His teeth clench and his eyes are pained slits. "I can't, my heart is beating too fast." He groans and hunches over with his head between his knees.

Erwin kneels in front of him and takes Levi's face in his hands. "Breathe slowly."

Levi stares into his steel, blue irises and forces a deep slow breath that expands his shoulders. A wince flashes across his face. He's still bruised up from the fight with Darius so his breath snags.

"There…"

Levi's breathing is even, but his body still feels like it's burning. He rips off his shirt and pants, and is too distracted to feel a shade of embarrassment from being stark naked in front of Erwin.

"They beat you to a bloody pulp," Erwin observes with an icy chill in his deep voice, scanning over Levi's busted up body.

Erwin's strong arms are around Levi and he settles him down in the cold bath. Instantly, Levi relaxes in the water and closes his eyes. He feels a little better. For a long time, Erwin doesn't say anything as he watches Levi. When Levi's eyes open again, he realizes Erwin is staring at him with a strange look.

"What?"

Erwin's expression is hard as he asks, "Did they touch you?"

Levi's brows furrow together. "Who?"

Erwin's eyes harden further. "What do you mean who? Those sex traffickers, obviously."

Levi's eyes dart to the side to nothing in particular. "Oh…" Levi tries to remember what happened. Did those men touch him? His mind is still hazy. "No, I think you came before they could," he replies slowly.

"You're being oddly calm about this."

Levi shrugs. "I've had to deal with perverts before. It's not new to me."

Erwin stiffens, staring at Levi.

"But that was definitely the closest call I've ever had…" Levi mutters cynically. Then his eyes taper at Erwin. "What took you so long anyway? Were you taking a long shit or something?"

Erwin's expression is surprisingly dark and Levi wonders if he said something wrong. He clears his throat and asks his question in a more polite manner this time. "Why didn't you come get me after training?"

Erwin growls and rubs his temple. He should have known Ian would forget to pick up Levi. He should never have trusted that forgetful fool. He'll definitely lay into Ian the next time he sees him. "I was called on a mission."

"You could've at least told me that…"

They fall to silence. Erwin takes a cloth and runs it over Levi's battered back. It's littered with dark, black and purple bruises. If they're still tender, Levi doesn't show any signs of feeling the pain. Erwin realizes something about Levi's condition doesn't make sense.

"How did you get so beat up? You could've easily protected yourself against those men. They shouldn't have been a match for you."

Levi's muscles tense and he doesn't reply.

"Levi?"

Levi stares at the wall, his eyes unfocused. "Everyone has to lose sometimes," he murmurs dully.

Erwin's hands hesitate then he holds onto Levi's jaw and forces him to look into his eyes. "Everyone _has_ to lose? Are you implying that you lost on purpose?"

When Levi remains silent, Erwin's teeth clench tight. "What are you thinking? Why the hell would you want to lose to those pigs?"

Levi scoffs, turning his face away. "I didn't lose to those men. They just happened to catch me afterwards."

"Then who beat you?"

For a second, Levi doesn't reply and just as Erwin is about to repeat the question, Levi's mouth opens and he speaks. "My comrades."

Erwin jolts in shock. "What? I thought you were getting along with them."

Levi's shoulders slump forward a fraction and he looks a little wounded. "Darius still hates me," he says quietly.

"And you just let him beat you up?"

"He hurt Shanni. I thought if I gave him what he wanted, he'd leave them all alone."

Erwin is stunned. Levi isn't the kind of person to lower himself for the sake of others. He's a stubbornly proud person and he's only interested in his own safety.

"Levi…" And Erwin's arms wind around his small body, pulling him close. He doesn't care that his shirt is being soaked through by Levi's wet skin. And he doesn't want to let Levi go. He can feel the tension under his hold, and he thinks Levi is going to pull away but is surprised when he doesn't.

"Let go of me," Levi mutters halfheartedly but he doesn't struggle. He doesn't try to escape Erwin's grasp at all. He remains completely still.

"You don't have to act so strong all the time. You're still just a kid," Erwin murmurs.

Levi is quiet and then his tension melts and his fingers curl into Erwin's shirt. "Why do you do so much for me?"

"You're my responsibility," is Erwin's automatic reply.

"Erwin…" And Levi's voice is soft and oddly childlike. "…you won't ever leave me, will you?"

"I'd never do that. I can't."

Levi is slow to reply. "Am I just a chore to you?" he mumbles.

"No, Levi," and he pauses before saying, "That's not it." He presses his cheek into the top of Levi's damp hair.

Erwin won't admit that he's grown fond of Levi. He'll never say something like that out loud. It'd be a sign of Erwin's weakness. A cold, hardened heart is the asset Erwin has developed throughout his life—it's what makes him strong, so he can't let himself become soft. His heart can't be affected by anyone, least of all Levi because Levi is simply a soldier that will forever fight for Erwin. Nothing more.

* * *

One day Erwin hands Levi a small bar of chocolate. Levi stares at it, not comprehending the meaning of it.

"Isn't chocolate meant for birthdays? You know that I don't know when my birthday is..."

"Chocolate is meant for special occasions. And today is special. Do you know why?"

Levi shakes his head.

"One year ago from today was the day I found you." And Erwin laughs. Even after all this time, he still can't believe Levi had been the head of that smuggling line.

Levi is rendered speechless.

"Here." Erwin tosses him a small box and Levi catches it in the air.

"What is it?"

"Just a little something." And then he walks off with Levi's eyes lingering after him.

When he's no longer in sight Levi's eyes shift to the box. He stares at it in the palms of his hands. There's a part of him that doesn't want to open it. It's the first present he's ever received and he wants to treasure it. But presents are supposed to be opened because whatever is on the inside is the real prize.

Levi slowly lifts off the top and inside is something white and soft. He carefully unfolds the material and gapes at it. It's a cottony, white cravat and it looks to be a pretty expensive one too. He loops it around his neck and pulls it tight in the front so that it hangs neatly at his throat. His fingertips brush over the soft ruffles, his chest swelling with a feeling foreign to him. It's almost painful but it's a pleasant kind of pain.

* * *

iii. The End of the Beginning

Erwin grins when he sees Levi and his eyes fall to his throat. "The tie suits you."

Levi shifts uncomfortably and looks away. "Who knew a criminal could clean up so nicely, right?"

Erwin smirks and goes to ruffle his hair, but Levi ducks out of the way.

There's a short moment of silence before Erwin suddenly says with a serious tone, "I'm going to transfer to the Scouting Legion."

Levi's heart stutters, his head snapping upward. "But…that means you'll be sent outside the walls. You'll face titans."

Erwin slowly nods and his mouth presses into a line. "It won't be my first time. I've fought titans before."

Levi's fingers curl into fists so tight that his nails dig into his palm. Ice water rushes through his veins and he can't breathe. "You'll leave me."

Erwin regards him with an unreadable expression. "Keith and Ian will keep an eye on you. Besides, I think you've proven yourself."

Levi frowns, his eyes hardening into a glare. "That's not the point. You said you wouldn't leave me."

Erwin isn't surprised Levi is angry. He knew this would be hard for Levi to understand, but Erwin doesn't have a choice. He can't stay with the Stationary Guard any longer. Humanity needs him outside the walls. "I'll return. I promise you."

Levi doesn't say anything, but there's a pressure building inside of him, and it keeps swelling until it's unbearable to ignore. Then suddenly his hand shoots out on its own accord, and he clutches onto Erwin's fingers. His grip is strong, practically on the verge of desperation, and it trembles slightly. His eyes are downcast, unable to meet Erwin's gaze. "Wait for me," he mutters. "We can join the Scouting Legion together." Levi only has one year left of training and this way Levi will be able to watch Erwin's back. He won't have to face the perils alone. Levi will be there to protect him. He'll keep Erwin alive.

For a moment, Erwin says nothing and then with his free hand he tousles Levi's thick hair. "Alright, I'll wait."

A weight is lifted and Levi breathes out an internal sigh of relief.


	3. Chapter 3

iv. The Beginning of the Middle

"Those are titans?" It's the first time Levi has ever seen them in person. For some reason he thought titans would be…scarier maybe? "What's with their faces? They look silly."

"Focus Levi," Erwin says.

"I am focused."

Now that Wall Maria has been breached, the number of titans isn't lacking. In fact, in every direction Levi turns he sees clusters of those silly looking faces running about. This is Levi's first hot titan date and he's more than ready. His hands tighten in growing anticipation around the handgrips of his maneuvering gear.

"Divide into four groups." Erwin extends a hand, gesturing along the horizon. "Each team will take a section of the town. Spread out and push the titans back."

Because of the sudden breach, the new recruits have been sent out into the battlefield. The Survey Corps' numbers are drastically dropping. Not enough men and women join the branch to begin with and it's the Survey Corps' duty to fight off titans, so there was no other option but to send in new recruits to make up for the loss of soldiers. Supposedly, this is the less infested part of the breach but it's incredibly dangerous in any case. They're all risking their lives here and no doubt, many of them won't return to headquarters at the end of the day.

"Head out."

Immediately the recruits are off. Levi takes one last look at Erwin before shooting off. He goes with the team that heads middle-left; Shanni is in this group along with Jan. He wonders a bit about Wesley and Rafa but doesn't dwell on it, now's not the time. In the end, they all decided to follow Levi's lead in joining the Scouting Legion, and Levi was a bit surprised since the survival rate is so low. He doesn't understand why anyone would willingly join this branch, but Erwin did and so did his comrades so there must be some sort of reason behind it.

"I didn't know titans would be this big," Shanni says. She tries to sound brave but Levi hears the slight quiver in her voice.

"What were you expecting? Fluff and rainbows? This isn't some kind of dream world, it's a fucking nightmare," Jan bitterly retorts.

"No, this isn't a nightmare," Levi says. "It's reality."

They split and target a seven-meter. While Shanni and Jan distract it, Levi easily cuts out the nape and they head to another. This one is different. It's faster, taller, and its movements are chaotic without any sort of pattern that they can decipher.

"What the hell is it doing?"

Levi, Shanni, and Jan watch its hand swat and take out a clump of recruits.

"A deviant."

This must be one of those weird titans that are unpredictable and extremely dangerous. Jan and Shanni look like they're going to be sick. Levi leaps off the rooftop and flies straight toward the titan. He arcs around its swinging arm and grapples to the back of its neck. He's about to take out its nape when he hears Jan cry out. He looks up and sees him clutched tightly in the titan's hand. _Shit._ Levi slices out its nape and Jan is released. Once he's freed, Jan flies to the rooftop and collapses to his knees. Levi is soon at his side.

"That was a close call. Thanks," he chokes out. Sweat pours down his face and his entire body heaves with quick, shallow breathing.

"Be faster next time."

Jan nods.

Shanni bends down next to him and places a hand on his shoulder. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine."

"We can't stall," Levi says before he takes off again.

Erwin watches. This is Levi's debut. This is exactly what Erwin intended for Levi the moment he found him. Levi is fast, agile, and he takes out more titans single-handedly than entire squads of the new recruits. He's even stronger than Erwin imagined he'd be and he's unbelievably fast—Erwin has a hard time keeping him in sight. He's definitely the soldier that humanity needs. He's merciless, fearless, and there's not the slightest bit of hesitation.

But what's more is that Levi seems to be sincerely enjoying himself. Levi doesn't smile, he doesn't openly show his emotions that way, but there's a fire in his dull gaze that isn't normally there. He's having fun destroying titans and Erwin isn't surprised in the least. Levi has an insatiable thirst for blood, and taking down titans seems to satisfy that bloodlust. He's unleashing all the rage he's reserved throughout the years onto these titans, and those titans don't stand a chance. Erwin smiles to himself. Levi is the perfect soldier.

Levi pauses on a lone rooftop. He's not even winded from fighting and he feels a sort of rush. He feels more alive than he ever has before. He looks down at his hands. They're sticky and completely covered in titan gore.

"Ugh…gross." Levi's nose scrunches up in disgust and he wipes his hands on his pants. Great, now his clothes are dirty…

He sighs. "If I knew fighting titans would be this grimy, I would've worn gloves," he grumbles to himself and then he lazily treads toward the edge of the rooftop before vaulting toward another titan.

He's just finished it off and it starts to degenerate. Through the steam, he makes out the silhouette of another titan ahead and there's a recruit too. The titan manages to grab hold of the recruit, instantly Levi flies over there. The titan's mouth opens wide, it's hand rising its mouth. The recruit screams and Levi recognizes that voice. It's Shanni.

She sees him and her eyes are wide in gut-wrenching horror. "Levi!" she cries, "Help me!" The titan drops her into its mouth and she lands on its giant tongue.

No. Levi hurtles toward her at breakneck speed and reaches out an arm. Their fingertips brush, he almost has her, just a little further. He manages to grab her hand, and then something knocks him backward, breaking off his hold and the titan's mouth snaps shut with her inside. Levi stops breathing as he watches the titan's throat lurch while it swallows her down. She's… And then Levi is outraged.

He whirls on Erwin and slings a fist at his gut but he catches his hand mid-swing. "Why did you do that?! I could have saved her!"

Erwin's eyes are steel. "No Levi. If I hadn't stepped in, you would have been devoured along with her."

Levi glares and Erwin glares back. "I had her in my grip, you idiot!"

Erwin roughly clutches onto his jaw and it's uncomfortable. "Yeah, and the teeth were closing in on your head," he growls.

"Let go of me," Levi snarls.

Erwin releases his jaw, but his face is still close and his eyes are still hard as he continues to reprimand him. "You have to make better judgment calls than that," he rasps. "There was no way you could have saved that girl. If you make another mistake like that you won't last long out here."

He straightens up, looking down at Levi but his glare has softened a fraction. "You had good intention but learn to decide which lives can be saved and which ones will have to be sacrificed."

Levi looks away and his fists clench. Erwin is right. If Levi acts on an impulse again, he won't survive. And Levi has to live. He swore he'd protect Erwin. "I won't slip up again."

"No you won't," Erwin agrees.

* * *

The numbers of the new recruits have been cut in half. Shanni is dead and Rafa informed Levi that Wesley was also killed. Losing people isn't something Levi hasn't dealt with before. He'd lost many of his underlings back in his criminal days. But this time is different. He actually liked Shanni and Wesley so their deaths have impact. He feels a little colder and a little heavier, and what he wants is to be alone for a while, so he disappears into the communal bath, and soaks in burning, hot water until his skin is enflamed and his head is fuzzy.

"Levi, you'll pass out if you stay in there."

Levi doesn't even glance up at Erwin. His head hangs to his chest and he breathes dangerously slow.

"Get out of there."

Erwin is tugging on his arm and he finally looks up at him. "How do you deal with it?"

Erwin's thick brows furrow. "Deal with what?"

"Losing comrades."

Erwin's lips press into a hard line, the muscles at his jaw flexing. He releases Levi's arm and takes a knee. "Lives will be lost. Sacrifices will have to be made—it's the only way humanity's honor will be restored."

Levi grimaces. "I know that. But that doesn't make it any easier."

"Nobody said it would be easy."

Levi hunches over and presses the heel of his hand into his forehead. He didn't know losing his comrades would take such a heavy toll.

"The easiest way to deal with it, Levi, is to look at everyone as if they're already gone. Your remaining comrades are already dead, understand?"

Levi takes in a slow breath that expands his small shoulders. "…But they're still breathing so they're not dead yet."

"They may be breathing now but they _will_ die. We all have to die one day."

Levi grits his teeth. "I'll make the titans pay. I'll take it upon myself to fight for the lives that have been lost," he growls with steadfast determination. "I'll fight for the dead."

Erwin's eyes widen a bit as he stares at Levi. His jaded eyes weren't lifeless right then. He's serious. Levi really is going to fight, not only to survive, but for lost lives.

"You've changed," Erwin observes.

Levi looks at him. "What do you mean?"

He brushes the stringy tips of Levi's hair from out of his eyes and regards him with a straight expression. "You're not a selfish person."

Levi doesn't reply and he looks away.

This kid isn't a kid anymore. He's a soldier.

* * *

"How did that runt do on his first day out?" Keith asks.

They're sitting in the lounge. It's even worse than the stationary guard's lounge but Erwin does like that this one has a fireplace. Erwin downs the rest of his booze and tosses the glass bottle into the fire.

"He was deadly."

Keith snorts. "I'm not surprised. It always seemed like he was holding back in training. There was no hesitation but his movements held a quiet kind of brutality like he was restraining his true strength."

Erwin nods and leans forward, his elbows propped on his knees. He watches as the flames flicker and flash in the fireplace in a trancelike state. "It's because I told him to control himself until he faced titans."

"I wish I could have seen him let loose. It must've been impressive."

"It was." Erwin sighs, and Keith eyes him curiously. "But he's not as merciless as I thought."

Keith takes a gulp of his drink before asking what Erwin means, and Erwin doesn't reply right away. He takes another bottle, pops the top, and takes a long swallow.

"Losing his comrades really took a toll on him. And I didn't think that'd be an issue." Levi had no connections before Erwin took him in. He didn't care for anyone other than himself and so he didn't think Levi had any real sense of compassion inside of him. He didn't think Levi had a heart. He assumed Levi was just as heartless and detached as himself, but he was terribly wrong. He takes another gulp.

"He may have been a criminal Erwin, but he's still human."

Erwin doesn't visibly react but inside, he cringes. Does that make Erwin inhuman?

"And he's young. He'll learn to harden his heart. It'll just take some time."

Erwin stares intensely at the fire. The heat hits his face but it doesn't penetrate deeper than skin level. It can't because inside Erwin is cold to the very core. "I hope it doesn't take too much time. Humanity can't afford to wait."

* * *

Levi is walking alone along the rooftop as the titan he's just killed disintegrates behind him. He looks around. They all fight and fight and countless titans fall, but what good are they doing? It seems like they haven't even made a dent in their numbers. There are still too many titans. They'll never regain Wall Maria at this rate. It's an impossible objective but he can't stop fighting. He doesn't have a choice.

His ears perk at the sound of a shout. He snaps in the direction of the voice and sees a single recruit fighting a deviant. The recruit is just barely surviving, but with his too slow movements, he won't last much longer. Levi hurtles over there and grits his teeth. The titan caught the guy and has him in a tight grip. It's about to consume him. Just in time, Levi slices off the fingers and the recruit quickly maneuvers out of the way. Levi narrowly misses the titan's hand as it makes to swipe at him, and he vaults high into the air. He arcs around to the back of the titan's neck then cuts out its nape.

He lands next to the guy he just saved without looking at him, watching as the titan disintegrates, and then he finally gazes down at the kneeling recruit from the corner of his eye. His eyes widen a little.

"I didn't know you joined the Scouting Legion."

"Yeah, well I'm really regretting it now," Darius mutters with a bitter smile. "Everyone is dead and I'll be next."

Levi's expression is dark. So Darius's comrades are dead too… Just how many of their squad members have been killed? Levi pushes the thought from his mind and focuses his attention on Darius.

"Why did you join? You didn't seem like the kind of guy who'd be willing to risk his life."

Darius shrugs. "I dunno why I joined. I guess I wanted to prove that I'm not as pathetic as you think I am."

Levi's brows furrow. "Why do you care what I think?"

Darius looks up at him and he's not sneering unkindly at him, scowling, or glaring hatefully at him. His expression is almost vulnerable. "I admire you, that's why."

Levi stiffens and stares at Darius. "Have those titan fumes gone to your head?"

Darius clicks his teeth together and turns a cheek. "I try to be honest with you and you say I've gone insane. You're an asshole."

Levi crosses his arms and frowns. "Well what do you expect? You've always hated me and suddenly you admire me? That doesn't make sense."

Darius heaves a sigh and hauls himself to his feet. He's tall, taller than Levi remembers. His clothes are torn and tattered and blood stains them. He's got a few cuts up his forearms and a bruise across his cheek. All in all, he looks pretty messed up.

He avoids Levi's eyes and rubs the back of his neck as he mumbles, "I never actually hated you…"

"So beating the shit out of me was your way of showing kindness?"

Darius winces. "No…I was pissed off. I hated that you were better than me at everything and I didn't know how to control my jealousy, so I took it out on you." Darius finally looks Levi in the eye as he says, "And I'm sorry. You were right about me. I'm a pathetic piece of shit, and you should have let that titan devour me."

Levi's deadpan doesn't change. "Everything you said is true but I didn't let that titan kill you because humanity needs as many soldiers as possible to keep fighting. Even bastards like you need to live."

Darius's face twists into a pained grimace. He looks wretched and sorrowed. "I wish I could make it up to you."

"Keep fighting, keep living. That'll be enough."

Darius looks at him in surprise. "But that doesn't seem like much."

"The cost of living is higher than you might imagine. Surviving isn't easy." Levi points to the disintegrated titan—it's practically gone at this point. "Don't forget you almost died."

Darius nods. "You're right. I'll try my best."

"Good." Levi starts to walk away but Darius grabs hold to his wrist. Levi glances over his shoulder.

"There's something that I swore to myself I'd tell you if I ever had the chance."

"What is it?"

"I…always, always wanted to be you."

Levi stares at him for a moment and then his eyes are downcast. "You shouldn't want that," he mutters.

Darius's grip on his wrist tightens. "You're everything I want to be—strong, fearless, cool. You're perfect."

Levi's mouth presses into a tight line and he meets Darius's gaze. "Look, I'd give anything to be in your position."

Darius stares at him questioningly. "Why?"

And Levi sighs. "You get to choose how you live and how you die. I don't have that freedom. I never wanted to be here." But there is one thing that he has now that he didn't have before. He has Erwin and he intends to always keep him by his side.

"Use what you can of the little freedom you have, alright?" There's a puzzled look on Darius's face, it's clear that he isn't exactly sure what Levi means, but he nods anyway.

"And do your damnedest to stay alive. I'll see you back at headquarters."

Darius grins and it's the first kind look Levi has ever seen on his face. "Yeah."

And then Levi is gone to do what he was meant to do: slaughter titans.

* * *

v. The Middle of the Middle

"Commander Erwin Smith, what's going to be your first move in your new position?" Levi questions as he straps on his gear. He's tugging at the buckle on his thigh but it snags and he curses. "Dammit. There's too many belts," he grumbles irritably.

Erwin smirks and his fingers slip beneath the strap, jerking it free before readjusting it and tightening it until it properly hugs Levi's thigh. "Even after three years of being a Scout, you still have trouble gearing up?"

Levi crosses his arms over his chest defensively. "It's not my fault they make these things so goddamn complicated."

Erwin laughs and adjusts his own gear before slipping on his jacket.

"You didn't answer my question," Levi points out.

Erwin rests a hand on Levi's shoulder with a strange smile. "You'll see."

Levi blinks. "I don't know if I like that look on your face. It's suspicious."

The expression on Erwin's face doesn't change as they leave and head to the dining hall. Already Scouts are seated and shoveling food into their mouths like there's no tomorrow, and for many of them, there really won't be. Levi sits with Keith and some of the other sergeants and commanding officers as Erwin goes to get food.

"How's it going, Runt?"

Levi crosses his arms and doesn't bother looking up at Keith. Even after all these years, the guy continues to call him a runt. Not that it really bothers him. Levi knows he's not a very big guy. He's grown since his training days, sure, but he's still a small man, much to Levi's displeasure. He was really hoping he'd suddenly have a growth spurt but he wasn't that fortunate.

"I dunno, how does it look like its going, Old Man?"

The other commanding officers stiffen and shoot Levi wary looks. No one disrespects Keith and gets away with it. But Keith merely tosses his head back, giving a raspy laugh.

"I see your nerve hasn't dwindled at all." And then he turns to the man next to him. "You know when I first met this guy he looked me in the eye and didn't even flinch when I gave him '_the look'_."

"You mean that scary look you use when you stare down the new recruits?"

Keith nods. "That guy stared right back at me too. And his look was almost as scary as mine."

"No way. Your look could make a grown man piss his pants."

"I think this runt has what it takes to follow in my footsteps, he's already perfected the stare down."

Levi snorts. "Do I have to lose my hair too?"

Keith rubs the top of his bald head with a frown. He lost all his hair since Levi graduated from training and the circles under his eyes have deepened too, making his appearance even more intimidating. "Eh, I'm old, what can I say? I'll be retiring this year."

Levi's dull eyes flick up to Keith. "That's what you said last year," he replies.

"I'm being serious this time. I'm going to be in charge of the new recruits fulltime."

"I feel sorry for them."

Keith laughs again. "Me too."

Erwin is there with two wraps of food—one for Levi and one for himself. He takes a seat next to Levi and hands him his share.

"How's our newest commander doing? Got any plans for your first day?"

Erwin looks up at Keith. "Actually I do. I'm making Levi my Lance Corporal."

Levi's head snaps up toward Erwin and he stares at him, not knowing how to react to this new development. "Lance Corporal?" Is that why Erwin had smiled strangely before?

The other commanding officers look at each other and Levi can tell they don't particularly approve of Erwin's choice.

"I think that's a fine idea," Keith says. "That runt is practically superhuman. He's killed more titans than anyone I know and he's only what…actually we don't know how old you are, but you can't be that old."

"How many titans have you killed?" asks one of the other commanding officers.

Levi shrugs. "Lost count."

Erwin grips his shoulder. "He's had 92 kills and 73 assists."

The commanding officers gape at him in disbelief. "That's impossible."

Levi bites into his bread and doesn't respond.

"Not impossible. Just impressive," Erwin replies in his stead.

"Really impressive," says Keith.

"I'm just doing what I have to," Levi finally mutters.

He sneaks a glimpse at Erwin. Erwin and Keith are the only two who understand what Levi means. Levi is simply fulfilling his life sentence of servitude to humanity. He's not some sort of hero.

* * *

Once Levi is cleaned up and wears his slacks and t-shirt, he curls up onto his cot. The Scouting Legion dorms are usually six or seven to a room but since Erwin is a commander now, he gets his own room. The bed is a single so they had to get a cot for Levi to sleep in, and it's set at the other end of the room. The cot isn't as comfortable as his old bunk but it's not bad. Levi can't complain.

Erwin comes in with some book braced between his fingers and sets down at the edge of his bed. He folds the corner of the page, marking his place, before closing it and setting it to the side.

"So what do you think?"

Levi rolls over to look at him. "About what?"

"About being my Lance Corporal?"

Levi is tense and loses his tongue.

"Lance Corporal Rivaille. It has a certain ring to it, I think," he says.

Levi doesn't reply and his expression appears indifferent, but Erwin sees the subtle twitch at the corner of his mouth. Erwin lies down, sliding under his sheets. His arms fold behind his head while he gazes up at the ceiling.

"You accept the role, right?"

Levi's reply is quiet. "Yeah."

"As Lance Corporal you have to always be by my side, can you do that?"

Levi scoffs. "Is that even a question?"

"It also means you have to obey all of my orders. Will you do that too?"

Levi swallows and remains quiet.

The silence is thick before Erwin breaks it. "Levi, come here."

Levi hesitates before crawling off his cot and going to stand at the side of Erwin's bed.

Erwin doesn't look at him as he says, "Lay down."

Levi obeys and lies down next to Erwin, and for some reason his heart hammers inside his chest. Finally, Erwin turns over and looks at him. His steel, blue eyes are shadowed from the lack of light so they appear dark and bottomless. And he's really close_._

"No matter what orders I give you, you have to carry them out, you have to survive. Do you understand? Even if the task is impossible, you have to make it possible and live." Then Erwin's rough hand is cupping Levi's cheek. "Don't fail me."

"I got it." And Levi swears that he won't ever fail. He'll live to protect Erwin and to fulfill his every command. This is his purpose. After all, if it weren't for Erwin he'd either be living as a criminal still or he'd be dead. He owes Erwin everything.

"Good." Then Erwin does something that Levi could never have predicted. He leans close and presses his lips against the top of his head. Heat rushes up to Levi's face. "Go to sleep now. We've got another long day ahead of us."

Erwin's arm wraps around him and pull him close so that Levi's face is pressed against his chest. Levi's eyes fall shut, and he relishes in Erwin's warmth as he falls asleep to the thrum of Erwin's heart beating strongly inside him.

* * *

New responsibilities and headaches arise with becoming a commander such as more paperwork and working out the budget for food and supplies, just to name a few—it's irritating but it's the tedious parts that come with the job. Erwin is sitting in the lounge in front of the fireplace, going over budget paperwork when Levi comes in. Erwin feels Levi sit right next to him on the couch and he leans against Erwin's shoulder. He heaves a deep sigh that slightly irks Erwin. He doesn't have time to entertain Levi. He has to concentrate on his paperwork.

"Hey…Erwin…"

Erwin says nothing.

"Are you done yet?"

Erwin doesn't look at him as he replies. "I'm working, Levi. Go find something to do."

Levi doesn't move. "But you've been working all day, and the day before that, and the day before that, and the day before that… All you ever do is work. I don't think I like this commander gig anymore."

Erwin ignores him and continues reading through the papers. It's quiet for a few more minutes.

"Now are you done?"

Erwin sighs. "If you want to stay in here, keep quiet. I need to concentrate."

Levi lets out a short, frustrated breath and his back slumps against Erwin's side as his legs hang over the arm of the couch. "Fine…"

Levi's eyelids fall shut and soon he's drifting off. All his weight rests against Erwin, but Erwin's arm moves and Levi suddenly doesn't have anything to lean against. Before he can catch himself, he falls backward into Erwin's lap and accidentally knocks the papers from out of his hand. His eyes widen a bit in surprise as he stares up at Erwin. He's never seen him from this angle before…

"If you're bored go do something."

Levi is still and continues to gaze up at him.

"Get off, I have to finish this paperwork by tonight."

Slowly, Levi sits up but he doesn't move from out of Erwin's lap. Instead, he deliberately twists around and his arms sling around Erwin's neck.

Erwin eyes him suspiciously. "What are you doing?"

Levi doesn't reply. He pulls himself closer to Erwin so that their chests are pressed together and their faces are only centimeters apart. Levi is close enough for Erwin to feel his warm breath hit against his face. Levi's characteristic dull, silvery eyes never once leave Erwin's. Levi leans forward, lips parting slightly.

"W-what…?"

Erwin's eyes go wide. He knows what's happening and he should stop it. He needs to stop Levi from crossing the line. But Levi isn't a kid anymore. The hardness of his muscle and the baritone of his voice are proof of that. Even so, to Erwin, it seems like only yesterday he'd been causing trouble and refusing to trust anyone but himself. Levi has grown up so it's time he's accepted this.

Still, this feels wrong. Letting Levi affect him this way is very wrong. He knows this, yet he doesn't stop him. There's a foreign quickening of his pulse as Levi gets closer, and he finds himself leaning in too. He wants Levi but since when did he feel _this_ way about him?

Levi's eyes fall shut just before their mouths touch. Levi is warm and he's not gentle. His lips are small and dry, and he may be graceful when fighting, but kissing definitely isn't one of his strong points. But that doesn't seem to matter because Erwin's body heats up. His hands run through Levi's thick hair, grabbing hold to the strands while he deepens the kiss. He forces Levi's mouth wider and he feels Levi's breath hitch against his mouth. He takes this chance to delve further inside him.

_Dammit._ He's really messed up now but he still doesn't stop. He keeps digging deeper and deeper, and at this rate he won't be able to come up from this. Levi's hands are up the back of his shirt, groping at his bare skin. Erwin guides Levi down into the couch and kisses into the hollow at the corner of his jaw.

"Erwin…"

Erwin savors each bit of Levi that tinges his tongue. He has a salty-sweet taste. His fingers fiddle with the cravat around his throat and it comes lose. It drops to the floor. Then Erwin's fingers are undoing the buttons of Levi's shirt. Suddenly, Levi's body is rigid and he presses a strong palm against Erwin's chest.

"Someone's coming," he whispers.

He sits up and buttons his shirt as Erwin bends over to pick up his neglected paperwork. Levi takes his tie in his hand, quickly stuffing it into his pocket. The person Levi sensed coming rounds the corner and salutes them both. If he notices anything out of the ordinary, it doesn't show in his expression.

"Corporal Levi, I was looking for you. The new recruits want to meet you."

"I don't want to meet any of those brats."

"You're famous these days. Meeting you might ease their anxieties a bit," Erwin remarks.

Levi glances at him and Erwin flashes a smile. "Go. I'll see you tonight."

Levi feels heat rush to his cheeks and he hopes that it's not visible. Levi didn't miss the implication behind Erwin's statement—they aren't through and Erwin plans to finish up later tonight. Levi swallows and his eyes divert away. He forces the thought to the back of his mind, and makes his heart rate steady with a surreptitious calming breath before following the Scout away.

* * *

Levi's heart is beating fast. Erwin's mouth is on his collarbone and he's making burning trails across it. His breath is warm against his skin and it penetrates deep. Levi feels hot all over.

"Erwin…are you sure this is okay?"

Erwin pauses. "No, it's very much not okay," But even as he says this, his mouth continues to work along Levi's collar.

Levi's breath is short and shallow, his fingertips pressing into the muscle lacing Erwin's bare back. "Why not?"

Erwin's fingers are toying with Levi's waistband. "You're nothing more than my corporal. I'll kill you one day. Maybe not with my own hands, but you'll die serving me and I'll be accountable."

Levi snorts. "I told you, I won't die. Surviving is what I'm best at." Besides, as long as Erwin is alive, Levi has to be living too.

Erwin hesitates and looks into Levi's eyes. His steel, blue eyes are hard and profound, jaw taut and he's detached. But Erwin has always been cold, that's the kind of person he is.

"When you say it like that I have no other choice but to believe you."

His fingers slip beneath the elastic of Levi's slacks. Levi's breath catches and his toes curl as Erwin works at him. He's quiet and gnaws on his bottom lip.

"Your self-control is impressive."

"You… told me not to… make a sound," Levi breathes out. He turns on his side. He's tense and hot, and he has to hold himself back because that's what Erwin wants.

"I don't want anyone to hear. It would cause problems."

Levi doesn't respond as his eyes fall shut. He shudders then his body goes lax. Erwin wipes his hand clean on his own discarded shirt, and Levi's brow twitches.

"Disgusting. You should have used a cloth."

Erwin shrugs. "I'll wash it tomorrow."

Levi is breathing heavily and his body feels drained.

Erwin sits up on the edge of the bed. "I'm going to bathe."

"Do you want me to wash your back for you?"

The bed quivers along with Erwin's quiet shaking laugh. "Think I can't clean myself properly?"

Levi shrugs. "Just thought I'd offer since it's my fault you're filthy."

Erwin twists around and takes Levi's chin. He lands a hard kiss on his mouth then breaks off. "Stay here."

Truth is, Erwin needs a moment to himself to think. He leaves and heads to the communal bath. It's late so nobody else is around. He settles down in chest-deep water, leaning back against the side.

He's crossed the line. No, he's completely severed it. He can't climb out of the bottomless hole he's dug, but maybe he doesn't want out. Maybe he wants to keep going until he can't see even a speck of daylight. He'll take everything Levi has to give. And he almost hates himself for it. But Erwin is heartless, he's inhuman, so something like this has no real effect. That's why he'll keep using Levi to the fullest, in every way possible, until Levi has nothing left. Erwin sighs.

These are the thoughts he forces into his head but he claws at his chest, there's pressure building inside of him and it's uncomfortable—his heart is aching. He's never felt like this before. He doesn't know exactly what this pain is, but he knows Levi is the reason behind it. But _why_? Erwin grits his teeth. He won't let Levi affect him any more than he already has so he ignores the raging feelings inside him and he's cold once more.


	4. Chapter 4

vi. End of the Middle

_Story of Petra_

Petra lands hard on her rear with a cry and then scowls up at Rene standing over her with an apologetic look.

"Sorry Petra, looks like I won again."

Petra's hands ball into fists, her teeth clenching. "Let's go again."

"Petra, we've been going at it all day," Rene sighs. "Aren't you tired?"

Petra's glare deepens with a steadfast determination. "I'm not stopping until I defeat you."

Rene heaves a high-pitched sigh again. "Just give it up already." She doesn't intend to sound superior or snooty, she just doesn't like seeing Petra try so hard and fail in the end. She truly admires Petra's determination but all in all, she just isn't strong enough.

Petra's bottom lip juts out stubbornly. "No."

Rene looks at her for a moment then reluctantly, gives a nod. "Alright, let's go then."

She reaches out a hand to help Petra stand, but she pointedly ignores it. She rubs her sore rear before climbing to her feet. She's sweaty, grimy, and her muscles ache. She doesn't know how many times she's lost to Rene and countless other Scouts but she won't give up. She'll win.

She swings a fist at Rene and Rene easily ducks out of the way. She rebounds, kicking Petra's feet out from under her, and Petra tumbles to the ground. She's lost…again. Her fist slams in the dirt in frustration.

"I'll win. I swear it," she growls.

"How do you plan to do that? You're weak."

Petra looks up and meets cold, jaded eyes. "C-Captain Levi," she stammers, quickly scrambling to her feet. How long has he been watching her? Her cheeks burn in humiliation, her eyes dropping.

"Do you really think you can win? You clearly aren't strong enough."

Rage bubbles up inside her. "I'm not weak," she spits at him. And then her hand clamps over her mouth. She's just disrespected "Humanity's Strongest Soldier". Even so, she doesn't take it back. She meant what she said and stands by it.

"Yes. You are," is Levi's even reply.

Petra dares to glare at him. "I'm sorry for my disrespect, Sir, but you're wrong and I'll prove it." Her fist settles at her chest in a strong, promising salute before she spins on her heel and takes her leave. Petra will prove that he's wrong. She'll prove to everyone that she isn't weak.

They're on a Scouting Expedition in one of the overrun towns of the outer wall. Their objective is to push the titans back as far as they can. They're getting a little close to the inner wall and it could be dangerous if they gain any more ground. There's a titan up ahead and Petra heads straight toward it.

"Don't piss yourself, Petra!" Eld teases, flying past her.

"Shut it, Eld! I'm not scared." And she's not. Maybe on her first Scouting Expedition she'd been a little nervous but these days, she's not afraid. She's a regular with danger now.

"If you need a change of panties, I'm sure Rene will help you out," Oluo adds.

Petra snorts. "I'm sure she'd have a spare for you too, Oluo."

Oluo is about to say something but he cuts off as he accidentally bites down on his tongue. "Ack!" he cries out, blood dribbling down his lip.

That idiot… Petra arcs around the titan and grapples to the back of its neck. She winds her arm back and dives into its nape. The sharp edge slices clean through.

"Nice one!" Eld praises, shooting her a thumbs up.

She smiles, her chest swelling with pride but that was only her first kill of the day. She plans on making many more.

There's a group of titans up ahead. Eld, Petra, and Oluo vault over there, splitting and sharing the load. Petra cuts through the nape of her titan and then she makes to go after another one. She's about to grapple to its neck when another line shoots in front of her and suddenly, Oluo is in her way. They smack hard into each other.

"Ouch!" she yells. She shoves him away but they only tangle more into each other. "Oluo! Get off of me!"

Oluo gives an impish smile. "What's the hurry?"

"The titans—!" She gasps as a titan's hand comes flying at them. It stops mid-swing and steam is unleashed as it disintegrates.

Eld stands on top of it with a mocking smirk. "Come on you two! Now's not the time for a make out session!"

Petra growls irritably and thrusts a powerful kick right into Oluo's stomach.

"Oof!" He's sent backward and they're finally separated.

Eld extends a hand, and Petra's head snaps in the direction in which he's pointing. "Look! The frontline is retreating!"

A line of Scouts is headed back toward them.

"Huh? What's going on?"

One of the Survey Corps commanders lands next to them on the rooftop. "There're too many titans. We have to retreat."

Eld, Petra, and Oluo stiffen, their eyes going wide.

"But they're getting too close to the inner wall. We can't let them gain any more ground," Eld argues.

The commander nods with a grave look in his eye. "I know…but we don't have enough strength. We'll have to regroup and try again next time. Orders are to retreat back to headquarters."

Eld's jaw tightens and he looks like he wants to say more but he doesn't. "Yes sir."

The commander is off but they don't move a muscle.

"We shouldn't retreat," Petra says. "Pushing the titans back is critical. We can't afford to wait."

"You're right," Eld agrees. "But orders are orders."

"I'm not leaving." She said she was going to prove that she wasn't weak. "I'm going to take down as many titans as I can." She takes off and is surprised when Oluo and Eld appear at her sides.

"I'm glad you said something," Oluo says. "I really didn't feel like going back either. The fun was only starting."

Eld winks. "Besides, we can't let a woman show us up."

They make it to the section overrun by titans but someone else is already there. One of their quieter comrades apparently also thought it was a good idea to stay behind. Petra doesn't know him well, but she knows his name is Gunther and he's a pretty powerful man. He's known for his sheer strength.

Oluo gives a lighthearted grin. "Gunther! You started the party without us?"

Gunther doesn't smile as he nods at them and continues hacking at titans. Countless titans run around in incomprehensible zigzags—they're deviants. Petra kills one and moves on to another. They slay as many as they can but there are just too many, and soon their energy begins to dwindle. They land on one of the broken down rooftops and they collapse, breathing hard.

"Did we even make a dent?" Eld questions.

Oluo's reply is bitter. "Define dent."

"We have to keep going," Petra urges.

She hauls herself to her feet and leaps toward another titan. She takes it down, but she's out of strength and her gas is running low. All of them are running low on gas. They'll barely have enough to get back to the front of town where their horses are waiting. Another titan is behind her and it's charging. She takes a deep breath and she's about to arc around to its neck when another line zips past and grapples to its nape. A shadow passes underneath her. Her eyes dart to the sky.

The sun is bright overhead and she can't see past the glare. She squints and watches as a shape flies high and hurtles around to the back of the titan and easily severs through the back of its neck. Once it disintegrates and the steam has cleared, the person is revealed.

"Captain Levi!" Eld and Oluo shout in unison. They straighten up, their fists hitting their chests in salutes.

Petra is slower to salute as she stares wide-eyed at the captain. Two encounters in a single day? What are the chances…?

"Hey, you lot…" he coolly addresses as he grapples to the building Oluo, Gunther, and Eld are standing on. "What the hell are you doing? Orders were to retreat." He soundlessly lands with a step lighter than a feather just in front of them.

They remain silent, awestruck by the presence of Humanity's Strongest.

"Are you going to answer me?"

Eld is the first to come to his senses. "Our apologies, Captain. We stayed behind to take down as many titans as we could before retreating."

"You deliberately disobeyed orders?" Levi's eyes are sharp and severe as he regards them all.

Eld's head ducks lower in shame.

Petra is with them now and she lines up next to Gunther with a salute. "Captain, it's imperative that the titans are pushed back. They've become too close to the inner wall."

Levi eyes her with a cold deadpan. "And you think I'm unaware of this?"

She stiffens, nervous sweat trickling down her back. "Then why are we retreating? I believe we should fight them."

Levi is just in front of her now. He's not much taller, maybe only by a few centimeters, but somehow she feels like he towers over her and her mouth runs dry. "You trust your own judgment over your commanding officers, is that it?"

She loses her tongue. She doesn't know what she can say to that. A deep but quiet voice cuts in, and all their heads snap toward Gunther.

"Yes, we trust ourselves," he admits without any hint of regret or shame.

Levi's brows furrow and he thoroughly scans each and every one of them before speaking again. "Speak your names and squad numbers," he commands and they obey without a moment's hesitance.

"Eld Jinn of the 91st squad."

"Oluo Bozado, squad 94."

"Gunther Schultz, 95."

Lastly, it's Petra's turn and she has to force her voice steady. She builds up the nerve to look Levi in the eye as she says, "Petra Ral of squad 94."

Levi's eyes linger on her for a moment and then his gaze shifts to Eld. "You've been a part of the Survey Corps longer than the rest. The chain of command should be clear to you by now," his eyes narrow and a bead of sweat forms at Eld's hairline, "so why have you chosen to disobey your commanding officer?"

"I did not intend any disrespect. I trusted my gut over orders and I apologize. However, if I were given a chance to remake that choice, I wouldn't change it."

Levi continues to stare at him and Eld holds firm. "I see," Levi mutters at last. "You four are coming with me but first, let's annihilate the rest of these titans."

He turns on his heel and hurtles toward the next building where a crowd of titans is mindlessly treading circles.

Levi had taken down most of the titans singlehandedly, but the others had their fair share of kills too, and together, they completely demolished the remaining titans. They successfully fulfilled the mission on their own. The inner wall is now safe and they ride back to headquarters. Once they've dismounted their horses, Petra approaches Levi.

"Captain," she calls.

He turns to face her. "What is it?"

She bows her head low in deep respect. "I'm sorry for my disrespect earlier today. I was just so…tired of people thinking I'm weak, but perhaps they're right and I don't see myself clearly…"

Levi is quiet for a moment and then he places a hand on her shoulder. "I never thought you were weak," he tells her. "Strength doesn't come from skill, it comes from the will to keep fighting. You're strong. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise."

Something strange happens to Petra's heart—it falters then it restarts at a pace twice as fast, and the speed of it is pleasantly painful. Her face burns and she straightens up to look Levi in the eye.

His expression isn't gentle or warm but somehow, he doesn't seem as heartless as the rumors suggest. "You did well."

"T-Thank you," she chokes out.

He passes her by, and she turns to watch him walk away. His strides are casually graceful like he could be nothing less than skilled in anything that he does without even giving forth the effort. Her heart swells in her chest until she thinks that it'll rupture, and there's a fluttering feeling inside of her. It makes her feel hot all over. Those sharp, silvery eyes penetrate her mind.

She's falling for him, isn't she? She slams her palm against her forehead, unleashing a heavy sigh. She's no better than a hormonal teenager. She's pathetic… But in any case, from now on, she knows that she'll always follow Levi's leadership—she doesn't have a choice because her heart won't allow otherwise.

* * *

"This is the team you chose?" Erwin asks with a raised eyebrow.

He'd been surprised when Levi requested permission to build a special squad of Scouts personally elected by Levi himself. Without much deliberation, Erwin agreed to let him form a squad of soldiers. It wasn't at all a bad idea. Levi is deadly when fighting as an individual, but one person can only do so much damage—with a squad he'll be able to reach more titans and take down entire hordes quickly without breaking a sweat. But these are the people he chose…?

Levi's arms are crossed while he impassively observes his squad run through practice formations. They keep arguing and getting in each other's way, and not one of them will back down. Levi continues to watch and as more time passes, his expression darkens considerably.

"They're…" Erwin pauses to find the right word, "…entertaining," he finally finishes.

Levi snorts. "Yeah, well maybe they'll entertain titans to death."

"Why did you choose these recruits?"

They don't seem very impressive in Erwin's opinion. He's seen better fighters and stronger recruits in training, although, the two taller men don't seem half bad. The older one seems experienced enough and the quiet one seems focused and composed, but the other two… they have a long way to go.

"They have severe trust issues."

Erwin's eyes taper in confusion. "Isn't that a problematic trait?"

Levi looks up at Erwin from the corner of his eye. "Probably, but that's exactly what I was looking for."

Erwin still doesn't understand. "Why?"

"I want to build their trust from the bottom up. The connection will be stronger that way."

A smile tugs at Erwin's mouth. Levi may or may not realize it, but that's exactly what Erwin did with him. Levi is living proof that this method works. Levi will do anything for Erwin—the connection is unshakeable.

"I'm sure your squad will be efficient in time especially with your leadership."

Levi's shoulders collapse with a long breath. "I just hope my patience lasts…" he mumbles.

Erwin chuckles, resting a hand on his small shoulder. "You have my sympathy."

Levi eyes him. "What did you want anyway? Why were you looking for me?"

Erwin gives a nonchalant shrug. "Can't I pay my corporal a visit every once in a while?"

Levi's dull eyes knowingly fix on Erwin's for a moment before they shift to the side. "I see." He turns around, facing back toward headquarters and without looking at Erwin he says, "Let's go."

"Shouldn't you be watching your squad?"

Levi is quiet a moment. "I can spare a minute."

A small smirk tugs at Erwin's mouth as he follows Levi. They head back toward headquarters and follow the cement pathway that leads to the main building. He rounds a corner and just as Erwin passes around it, Levi is fisting his shirt, jerking him down to his level, and their mouths slam together—teeth knock against teeth, their tongues knotting.

This is their secret. They're treading dangerous borders but they can't stop. They don't want to. Erwin backs Levi into the brick wall until every contour of his back is mashed against it. Erwin's mouth moves to Levi's neck, his teeth skimming over his sensitive flesh. Levi's head tilts to the side, allowing him better access and his fingers tangle in Erwin's hair. Erwin's lips meet the tie around Levi's throat and he tugs at it.

"…Erwin," Levi draws in a breath, "Wait, leave it on. I have to get back soon."

There's a disappointed sigh. "Alright."

A scarred palm caresses Erwin's cheek and Levi stares at him with a blank expression. His sharp eyes bore straight into Erwin's steel ones. Levi can see the dissatisfaction etched into the features of Erwin's stern face and it twists his heart. He wants to please Erwin, that's all he wants, but it's becoming difficult. With Levi's new responsibilities and duties he's had less time to spend with Erwin. He's not at Erwin's side like he wants to be, like he swore he'd be. And it leaves Levi feeling empty and unfulfilled. His utmost priority should always be Erwin.

"I'll come to your room tonight," he quietly mutters.

They don't share a room anymore. As Lance Corporal, Levi was rewarded with his own room. It's nice and clean, and it's the first time Levi has ever had his own space, but it's also blatantly cold. It lacks Erwin's warmth.

Erwin's voice is a low and sensual murmur, "That's risky, you know."

Levi knows this. Sneaking into Erwin's room during the night isn't something that can be done often. Suspicions will rise if they aren't careful. And Levi is also sacrificing his own stamina by meeting with Erwin. He knows he'll end up giving Erwin everything he has, and so tomorrow he'll be drained of all his energy. This isn't healthy nor is it smart, but Levi needs Erwin to be content.

"If you want me to come, all you have to do is order it."

The corners of Erwin's mouth perk in a dangerous smile. A gruff finger is tucked under Levi's jaw, his face pulled upward, and then Erwin looks down into his eyes. "You should be careful with what you say."

"Don't twist my words."

"It's difficult not to when you say things like that."

Levi's brow twitches. "Just tell me what you want," he scoffs.

Erwin's head ducks down low. There's a hot, husky rasp in Levi's ear that prickles the hairs on his neck and builds a shiver in his spine. "What I want is you— right now in this moment, right here against this wall."

Heat rushes to Levi's face and his breath snags in his throat. His teeth clench tight, his eyes dropping downcast and avoiding Erwin's eye. "You know I can't do that," and he sounds regretful as though it hurts him to deny Erwin.

"Or are you afraid?"

Levi hisses in frustration. There's a war raging inside him. He wants so much to please Erwin but his responsibilities jerk at the other half of his heart. He has to get back to his squad and it's risky to give Erwin what he wants out here in the open. Someone could see and that would cause trouble for the both of them. "I'm not afraid," he finally growls.

His fingers rise to his throat and he quickly picks at the knot around his neck. He loosens his cravat and pulls it off then he's swiftly ridding himself of his jacket. Erwin takes his hands and stops him short.

"It's alright. You don't have to do that."

"If it's what you want, I'll do it."

A reaction pulls at Erwin's brow but Levi isn't sure what it means. "Levi…" he sighs. "You need to get back to your squad. I won't keep you any longer."

"But Erwin, I said I'd—"

"—They're waiting for you," he cuts in.

The muscles in Levi's jaw flex as he gnashes his teeth together. He doesn't like disappointing Erwin like this. "I'll see you tonight then."

Erwin smiles and pulls the jacket back over Levi's small shoulders. He helps resituate the tie at Levi's neck then places a chaste kiss on his mouth. "I'll keep the door unlocked."

Levi spins on his heel and heads back to the training grounds where he left his squad, and the growing distance between him and Erwin leaves a hole in his chest.

* * *

Parts of Levi ache that he didn't know could ache as he crawls out of Erwin's bed. Erwin is already gone. He must've let Levi sleep in—that bastard. Levi doesn't have time to sleep in; Erwin should've woken him up. He groans and stumbles a little when the soles of his feet meet the wooden floor. Levi may be known as Humanity's Strongest but Erwin's strength shouldn't be underrated. Levi's entire lower body throbs. He throws on his pants and sloppily buttons his shirt before slipping out the door unnoticed.

When he makes it to his own room he hesitates just outside. Something isn't right. He's not sure what it is but there's definitely something off. He opens the door and steps inside. His eyes meet his empty, pristine room. He carefully scans over it and nothing appears out of place. It remains just as he left it. Was he mistaken?

"Heeello!"

He whips around, grabs this intruder's arm, and forces him over into a bend as he twists his arm sharply behind his back. He winds it so far that it cracks under the force. If Levi adds even an ounce of pressure, the bone will surely splinter.

"Who are you and why are you in my room?"

The intruder unleashes a boisterous laugh and doesn't attempt to move from out of Levi's strong hold. "Wow! Your strength is no joke! Ah…this is really painful. Haha!"

This isn't a man—it's a woman. He releases her and she straightens up. A wide grin splits her face in half while she adjusts her glasses and stares down at him.

"You're a lot…shorter than I thought you'd be," she remarks, stroking her chin thoughtfully. Then her arms sweep around them in large, animated gestures. "And your room is impeccable! Are you some kind of clean freak?"

This woman…just who does she think she is? Perhaps she's actually insane. "Look you damn four eyes, this is my room and you can't just barge in here."

"Sorry! I suppose I shouldn't have been snooping."

Levi crosses his arms and there's an irritated twitch at his brow. "Did you touch anything?" he demands.

She purses her lips in a contemplative look and then gives a slow nod. "Ah, yes. I did. I looked through all of your drawers—you have excellent taste in underwear by the way—and I went through your closet. I even peeked under your bed…"

Levi's expression darkens and he glares up at this brainless woman. His voice is chilling and merciless, "Do you have a death wish?"

Her smile doesn't fade as she scratches her head. "Um, no. I like being alive but if you are going to kill me, can I ask you for a favor first?"

Levi blinks. "Why the hell would I do anything for the person who broke into my room?"

She shrugs. "That's…" and she thinks for a moment before completing the thought, "…a good question. Here, take these back then," and she hands him the Wings of Freedom crests she took from out of one of his drawers.

"You…" his eyes fall and he slowly takes the crests from her. "You were going to take these? Why?"

She's not smiling anymore. Her bright intrusive eyes are concerned as she regards him. She may be obnoxious and negligent to other people's privacy but she isn't oblivious to the attitudes of others. She can tell this genuinely affects Levi. She doesn't know why but in that moment, pain had flashed across his face. "I figured they were only spares. Are they special?"

He doesn't reply as he opens the drawer he keeps them in. He silently stares at them for a long time then carefully places them inside one by one. "They aren't mine," he finally says without looking at her. He shuts the drawer and doesn't meet her eye as he turns around.

"Who's are they?"

"…Fallen comrades."

"You kept their crests?"

Levi crosses his arms and leans against the dresser, gaze shifted away to the side at nothing in particular. His reply is quiet. "I'll always remember their existence this way."

The strange woman stares at him before sighing and when she speaks, she's gentle and not at all the annoyingly buoyant person she was only seconds before. "I'm sorry I took them from you. I didn't know."

He finally looks at her directly and scowls. "That's why you shouldn't barge into people's rooms and take their stuff."

The corner of her mouth pulls up into a small smile but it lacks the energy and overexcitement that it previously had. "My name is Zoe Hanji. I'm sort of a scientist and I came looking for you but you weren't here."

Levi eyes her with a deadpan. "Sort of a scientist?"

She grins. "Well technically I'm just a squad leader who's interested in titans."

"Why were you looking for me?"

She ignores the cutting edge in his tone. "Like I said earlier, I want to ask you for a favor."

His deadpan doesn't crack. This woman has a lot of nerve to ask him for a favor after stealing his stuff. "What is it?"

Her hands suddenly shoot out and clutch onto his fingers. She holds them between their chests as she lowers herself so that they're eye to eye. Her face is much too close for comfort and her gaze is so overwhelmingly bright and eager that Levi feels the impulse to reel back a step.

"Take me on a Scouting Expedition."

It takes Levi a moment to find his tongue. This woman has jumbled up all his thoughts into a turbulent whirl. She's too chaotic and unpredictable— his mind is having trouble keeping up with her. "A Scouting Expedition? Why?"

"I want to study titans up close and personal."

"You want to study them," he echoes with heavy skepticism lacing his tone. "And why do I have to be the one to take you?"

"Well…it's true that I want to study them outside the walls but what I really want is to capture live specimens and bring them back here."

Levi clicks his tongue against his teeth. "You really are insane," he mutters. He wrenches his hands from her grip. "I refuse."

Hanji pushes her glasses to the top of her head then crosses her arms and towers over him with a frown. "You can keep fighting titans. You'll slaughter as many as you can but they'll always return," and her lighthearted attitude has vanished, she's serious and stern, "If you truly want to annihilate titans, you have to learn about them. You have to study them and figure out the secret behind their very existence. As long as you ignore the scientific contributions to this war, it will never end."

Levi hesitates. This woman is clearly crazy and he doesn't trust her, but she has a point. He's killed countless titans but what good will it do if they keep coming back? He heaves a heavy sigh and shuts his eyes. This choice he's about to make, there's a good chance he'll regret it.

"Fine, you can come along on an expedition with my squad but it'll be dangerous. Your life will be at risk."

That scary wide grin is back on Hanji's face, and Levi cringes at that look. "I wouldn't want it any other way."

"Now, get out of here." He holds the door open for her.

A pout puckers her lip as she reluctantly passes through, but before she's completely outside, she pauses and her eyes fall to the V of his legs. "If you're going to walk around like a hot mess, you might want to button your pants next time. If I had been any other woman, you would've had a serious issue at hand."

The only response Levi offers is a slam of the door in her face.

After training with his squad and the sun had begun to sink below the horizon, he meets Erwin for dinner as usual. They sit at one of the vacant tables in the dining hall and no one is bold enough to join them. Levi and Erwin intimidate the other Scouts and the other commanding officers don't like to mingle with their subordinates so they refuse to eat in the dining hall. Levi mindlessly nibbles on a loaf of bread with his chin propped in his palm.

"Hey, Erwin, there was a strange woman in my room this morning," he casually comments.

Erwin chuckles. "Well, you do have quite a few fans out there. It's not exactly surprising. Did she throw herself at you?"

Levi gazes disinterestedly at the wall. "No. She was a 'sort of scientist'."

Erwin's eyes lighten and then a knowing smile fixes to his mouth. "Oh, so you met Hanji?"

Levi's eyes flick to him. "How do you know her?"

"Actually, I was the one who sent her to your room."

Levi blinks then his eyes taper accusingly. "And you didn't think to warn me? I almost shattered her arm."

"Well I didn't think she'd actually go inside your room without your knowledge."

Levi's eyes are back on the wall. "What's wrong with her? Was she dropped on her head as a kid?"

"Probably. Did you agree to take her on a Scouting expedition?"

"Yeah…but I wonder if I'll regret it."

Erwin takes in a sip of tea before giving an unhelpful reply. "I suppose you'll find out."

* * *

Levi's sharp eyes shift from Eld, to Gunther, to Oluo, and then finally to Petra. They stand before him with strong salutes, clad in their Scouting cloaks. Determination lines their brows and there is no fear in their hardened eyes.

"This will be your first Scouting expedition as a team, are you ready?" Levi questions.

They look at each other before replying in unison. "Yes sir."

"Good, you don't have a choice. Let's go."

They mount their horses.

"Wait!"

Levi turns and he has to suppress a disappointed sigh.

"You weren't trying to leave without me, were you?" Hanji asks with an unfazed smile, swinging a long leg over her horse.

"Of course not," he mumbles. "Why would I do that?"

"Do you think we'll see any deviants?"

Levi shrugs. "We'll try to get you your titans but stay out of the way, understand?"

"Right, right. Roger that," but she's distracted. She's practically hopping up and down on her saddle from anticipation as the gates open to let them outside.

Once they're fully open, they take off along with the rest of the Scouts.

They're in one of the ruined villages on the outskirts of Wall Maria. Titans run about with Scouts nipping at their heels. Levi is fighting alongside his squad and they take out more titans with just five people than the entire brigade of Scouts. Levi's squad works quickly and their trust in each other is unbreakable. They know each other's every movement, their every strength, and their every weakness so they're able to fight without speaking a single word to each other. They're utterly silent and incredibly deadly.

Clearing out the titans was simple with Levi's squad and they even have two titans cornered for capture. Levi watches as a group of other Scouts bind the titans. Suddenly, Erwin is at Levi's side and he rests a heavy hand on his shoulder.

"Your squad is impressive. You did well cultivating their trust."

Levi shrugs. "It's not my doing. In the end, they're the only ones who can choose to trust in each other."

Erwin smiles."They put their entire faith in you. They'll do whatever you ask of them. Their lives are now in your hand."

The corner of Levi's mouth pulls down. "They're not my pawns, Erwin. I'll only ask of them what's necessary."

Even though there's a common belief that Levi and Erwin are alike, they're actually not at all similar. Levi refuses to use people, he respects life, but Erwin doesn't. He's cold down to his very center. He'll sacrifice as many lives as it takes to win without any hint of remorse.

"I see." He grabs Levi's wrist and tows him away.

"Where are you taking me?"

The grip on Levi's wrist is rough and firm—it's almost painful but he doesn't complain. Something has Erwin worked up and he's not sure what it is. Erwin is silent as he leads him into one of the old, broken down townhouses. The ceiling is crumbling, the door busted through, and the floorboards are splintered so they have to be careful where they step. He releases Levi's wrist and folds his arms over his chest.

"I want you," he boldly declares.

Levi's eyes widen. "Right now?" He scans the place. "This isn't exactly a lavish bed or even a brick wall…" He kicks at the rubble on the ground, his nose scrunching up in disgust. "And it's filthy."

Erwin's finger slips underneath the strap around Levi's leg and he pulls him forward. His hand snakes higher up his inner thigh. He can feel the blazing heat radiating off Levi. A gruff palm cups Levi through the material of his trousers and Erwin can feel Levi reacting.

"Erwin," Levi says in a low voice, eyes piercing his, "Can't you wait until we get back to headquarters?"

There's a dangerous glint in Erwin's steel gaze that sends a chill down Levi's back. "I'm not a patient man."

Levi sighs and stretches to his toes. One of his hands settles on Erwin's scruffy jaw, eyes focusing on Erwin's mouth. "What if someone sees?" he murmurs. He can hear voices just outside. They could easily be caught. This is a huge risk.

"That would be problematic," is Erwin's reply but Levi knows he isn't going to change his mind. He really is a stubborn man.

Levi stretches a bit further and presses his lips upon Erwin's.

Erwin is toying with Levi. That's all he's doing. He's using him for simple physical pleasure. It's written in a man's biological code to need sex. And Levi can satisfy that primal necessity. That stutter of Erwin's heartbeat means nothing. After all, he doesn't have a heart. Levi will die. It's only a matter of time. Levi will give his life to Erwin—he'll fight titans and he'll obey Erwin's every command until he slips up or the task he's given is impossible to complete, and then Erwin will move on. He'll find another pawn to do his bidding. And when that happens, he'll make sure that he won't be affected a second time.

Levi's teeth catch onto Erwin's bottom lip, and a low growl builds in Erwin's chest. Erwin's body instinctively reacts to Levi's touch—he can't ignore the burning desire he feels for him. His blood runs quick and his heart pounds. Levi affects him and Erwin absolutely hates it. His fingers unbuckle Levi's trousers. When his hand is down the front of them, Levi breaks off to suck in a sharp breath. Tightened, silvery eyes gaze up at Erwin while he strokes Levi with painfully slow deliberation. Color spreads over Levi's cheeks, and that expression makes Erwin's desire burn so strongly it hurts.

"…Levi," he murmurs, leaning down and kissing his neck.

Levi's knees tremble when Erwin's hand picks up in speed. "Erwin…" he sighs.

He gnaws on his lip, his throat audibly clamping shut in order to withhold his voice. Erwin holds him up with his free arm when he realizes Levi is on the brink of collapsing. Levi's muscles tense, and once they relax, Erwin stumbles a little because he's suddenly bracing Levi's dead weight. He clutches his small body to his chest.

"Are you okay?" He can feel Levi's body heave with his wild, uncontrolled breathing in his arms.

"Tch…I'm fine."

Erwin's eyes fall shut while he savors the feeling of Levi rested against him. He knows something like this shouldn't have any sort of affect on him. He knows this yet… he continues holding Levi close to him and his heart continues to ache.

* * *

He's walking through headquarters when Erwin sees Levi's squad up ahead, down the hall. They're circled up, speaking in low voices, but they're not quiet enough to where Erwin can't understand them. He pauses and listens in.

"Nobody touches Captain Levi, do we all have an agreement?" Eld says.

"But…what if he ends up falling for one of us? Shouldn't we be allowed to act on the basis of mutual interest?" Petra asks.

"Bullshit. Mutual interest? That's a pathetic dream," Oluo snaps, his arms folded over his chest.

Petra jabs a finger at him. "Stop trying to sound like Captain Levi."

Gunther cuts in and his deep, quiet voice shuts them all up. "No one pursues the captain. He's off limits."

Petra sighs but nods. "Alright, alright…"

"Shake on it," Eld commands.

They all stretch out a hand.

"Good evening, Squad Levi," Erwin greets.

They all jolt and whip around to face him. A humored smirk quirks Erwin's mouth.

"C-Commander Erwin," Petra splutters.

They all straighten up and give him dutiful salutes.

"You've come far, I'm truly impressed. Keep up the good work."

"Thank you, Commander," comes Eld's strong reply.

Erwin scans over them for a moment. "Have you seen my corporal anywhere? I've been looking for him."

Petra replies. "I believe he's in the showers."

Erwin eyes her curiously. "I appreciate your help. I hope to see the four of you again soon." He takes off in the direction of the showers but he can still hear the voices behind him.

"Were you peeking on the captain?" Oluo demands. "How did you know he was in the showers?"

"E-Eh…I-I wasn't spying! I just happened to see…"

The voices fade from out of earshot. Erwin hums to himself thoughtfully. Levi has completely captivated those people. For some reason, there's an irritation inside Erwin's chest. It makes his heart tick. What is it though? He doesn't understand it.

He's frustrated and irritated with himself when he enters the showers. He silently shuts the door behind him, and without thinking, he treads over the damp tile toward the single showerhead that sprays water. All of a sudden, he's grappled and his arm is twisted behind is back. A sharp hiss escapes between his teeth and his shoulder pops.

"Oh, it's you…" and then Erwin's arm is released.

Erwin rolls the kink out of his shoulder, looking down at Levi.

"You shouldn't sneak up on people. It might be the last thing you do," Levi remarks without offering an apology for almost ripping off Erwin's arm.

"I wasn't trying to sneak up on you."

"Well, be more careful next time."

Water droplets drip down his bare skin, his hair sticking to his scalp. His cheeks are flushed from the heat and steam, and Erwin can't do anything but stupidly stare while Levi runs a hand through his sodden hair. It's clearly not intentional, but each one of Levi's movements is carelessly provocative, and suddenly Erwin feels hot all over and his clothes are too constricting. His eyes tail after Levi as he moves back under the showerhead and lets the water hit his face, running down the length of his body.

"You'll get wet if you stay in here," Levi warns.

His eyes are shut, lips parted slightly. The water sprays at him and overflows his mouth. Erwin swallows and his feet lead him back to the door. He locks it then he's quickly slipping off his boots before he's back where Levi is.

Levi takes the bar of soap from the shelf and his back is facing Erwin as he speaks. "Am I appealing to look at or something? You haven't stopped staring since you came in here." His voice is characteristically dull and indifferent.

Erwin steps closer and spins him around so that he's facing him.

Levi looks up. "What?"

"Stop tantalizing me."

Puzzled folds crease Levi's brow. "I'm not."

Erwin places a palm over his wet, slick cheek and it slides down to his jaw then with curled fingers, he pulls Levi's face upward. "Your entire squad is in love with you," he suddenly says.

Levi knocks his hand away. "Just because they obey my command, doesn't mean they feel any kind of personal attachment to me."

"They've fallen in love with you, Levi. You hold not only their lives and trust in your hand, you also have their hearts." And that's something that Erwin could never achieve. He may be able to play others like pieces in a game, but he could never get his subordinates to care about him on a deeper level. Not even Erwin has that much or that type of influence.

Levi is silent so Erwin continues. "I caught them in the hall making a deal with each other. They've agreed not to pursue you. You're 'off limits'," and he says this with a drop of humor in his tone.

Levi stiffens, his eyes tapering. "That's stupid."

"Actually, I think it was smart. That way personal resentment won't be an issue."

A bitter scoff bursts from Levi's chest. "I don't know what makes them think they can talk about me behind my back," he snaps irritably.

The corners of Erwin's mouth twitch with a smile. "Can you really blame them for keeping something like that from you?"

"Maybe I've been too lenient. I'll have to straighten them out tomorrow."

There's a curious gleam in Erwin's eye as he leans down to Levi's level. "Does this mean I have competition?"

Levi wears an unreadable expression that's incredibly frustrating for Erwin. "Don't be stupid."

"That woman has a pretty face, are you sure you won't fall for her?"

Levi's deadpan doesn't waver but instead of replying, he fists Erwin's damp shirt and mashes their mouths together. Levi's agile, lithe fingers rip apart his shirt and he peels it off his boxy shoulders. Then he's unbuckling Erwin's belt and unzipping his pants.

Erwin's tongue slips through Levi's teeth and a sound swells in the back of Levi's throat. The special operations squad may love Levi but he'll always be Erwin's.

Levi breaks off for a moment to say something. "You can use me however you want," he's detached and impassive. "It doesn't matter to me."

"You want to be my puppet?"

Levi doesn't reply, but his jaded eyes don't leave Erwin's and his gaze is impenetrable. Erwin doesn't have a clue what's going through his corporal's head and nothing from his expression aids Erwin in understanding him.

"Why would you want that?"

Levi is slow to respond. "You're not an idiot. Haven't you figured it out already?"

The muscles in Erwin's jaw tighten. He knows, he's always known, but something like that is very wrong. The hole Erwin has been digging since that one day, isn't a hole anymore, it's a bottomless grave with his name etched into the headstone. All that Erwin has intended since the beginning is crumbling because he's letting his heart run rampant.

"Dammit, Levi," he growls as he knocks him into the shower wall, his mouth landing hard on top of his. Erwin's lips are desperate as they scour into Levi's. He's being too forceful, he's probably bruised up Levi's small mouth.

Erwin doesn't know himself anymore. Erwin's barriers are indestructible— he has no weakness. But this man chinks away at his armor like its nothing, and now, Erwin is left vulnerable. He can't win against this man. And Erwin always wins. His palms press into the cold, slippery tiles of the wall, holding up his weight. His mouth tears apart from Levi's and his head hangs in defeat.

Levi peers up at him from inside the cage of Erwin's iron arms. "You once told me that I didn't have to act so strong all the time. You should take your own advice."

Erwin sighs defeated. "Maybe you're right."

"I may not be right a hundred percent of the time, but my record is pretty damn high."

A small smile makes its way onto Erwin's face and his rough, scarred fingertips run the length of Levi's cheekbone. Those dull, jaded eyes haven't changed since the day he met Levi, and they never fail to penetrate deep into Erwin's heart. He never wants Levi to look away from him. "Stay with me."

"All you have to do is order it."

Erwin bends lower to speak directly in Levi's ear. "I order you to never leave my side."

Levi's reply is automatic. "Whatever you want, Erwin."

His small, strong arms curl around Erwin's midsection. Levi holds him close, so close that Erwin can feel his heart beating inside his chest and his breath heats up Erwin's collar. This man…Erwin is absolutely defenseless against him.

He tucks a finger beneath Levi's chin and pulls his mouth up to his again. As long as he's on the road to Hell, he might as well indulge.


	5. Chapter 5

Hi, so I wrote this story a while ago and I deleted it because I didn't like it. I only re-uploaded it because I received a PM from someone wondering where this story went. She wanted to reread it but I had deleted it. I put it up again after reworking it some, and it lacks reviews/followers because I uploaded the first three chapters all at once without gradually drawing in readers. I don't care that it has less followers than before and I hadn't intended on writing any more to this, but the reviews were so kind that I felt the urge to write _something_.

Thank you for reading!

* * *

vii. Beginning of the End

There's something about the thrill of danger that makes Erwin feel alive. Adrenaline runs hot in his veins, his nerves buzzing with electricity. It also rouses other primal, almost predatory impulses inside him. His eyes scan involuntarily over the rooftops for Levi. He finds him lazily treading the medial strip on a rooftop nearby. His squad is taking down titans ahead and Levi watches them without much interest. As if sensing Erwin's eyes on him, he turns and their gazes lock. Erwin doesn't say anything, but he tilts his head in a subtle signal for Levi to follow then grapples to another building on a descent.

His boots plant firmly in the dust with practiced poise, and he rounds the corner of one of the rickety townhouses. This particular one is on the outskirts of the village and it's at a dead-end. There's a sliver of space, an alley, between the townhouse and a back wall that blocks any passage past this point. There's the muffled sound of boots softly perching in the soil behind Erwin. Erwin continues walking as if he hadn't heard Levi's approach, nimbly striding into the shadowed alley out of view. At first, there are only Erwin's own footsteps hitting the street. Levi isn't following him—he's hesitating. Erwin waits expectantly and then grins to himself when he hears light footsteps tailing after him. Only after he comes to the end of the alley does he finally turn to face Levi.

Levi comes to a halt a little more than a meter away. The sharp features of his face are schooled into an impassive blank, his silvery eyes dull and incomprehensible. Erwin and Levi are silent and steadily composed but tension charges around them, perking the hairs on the nape of Erwin's neck. Erwin quirks a brow at Levi. His corporal should know what he wants by now. Erwin isn't hard to read and he doesn't conceal his desires. He's direct and straightforward with what he wants. And he always gets what he wants.

"You have shit timing," Levi mutters. "We shouldn't be doing this right now."

"You're going to deny me?" Erwin knows Levi won't refuse him. He never does.

Levi sighs, his eyes dropping to his feet. He slowly closes the distance between them to stand toe-to-toe with Erwin. His droopy eyes deliberately travel up the length of Erwin's body as if stripping him of his clothing piece by piece until they fix to his face. Erwin's blood is still boiling with adrenaline. Fighting and that instinct for survival turn them all into primitive, animalistic beings. In this moment, Erwin is a predator. And so is Levi. Erwin can see that muted, feral gleam behind his jaded eyes. Levi's self-control is impressive, but Erwin knows him well. He sees that quiet, blazing desire.

Levi stretches to his toes, his strong arms mechanically coiling around Erwin's neck, and Erwin leans down, meeting him halfway. His coarse fingers roughly curl around Levi's defined jaw, pulling him upward until Levi strains from the force. Erwin's mouth mercilessly devours Levi, his tongue shoving its way through Levi's teeth and deep into the chasms of his heated mouth. Fingers tangle and tug Erwin's hair, and their bodies smash hard together as if they could merge into a single person.

Erwin gropes Levi's side, his palm sliding down to his hip. His deft fingers eagerly unfasten Levi's trousers then slip beneath the elastic waistband of his boxer-briefs. Erwin's grip on Levi isn't gentle— it's forceful and firm, and he doesn't waste any time. Levi's breath hitches against Erwin's mouth, but Erwin bites down on his bottom lip, not allowing him to break away from him. Levi's knees shake, his hips stiffen, and he claws fiercely at Erwin's back. Saliva that isn't just his own overflows in Levi's mouth, dribbling out the corner, and stringing down his chin.

At last, Erwin shows Levi some mercy and frees his lips. Levi sucks in a desperate breath of air, but he's only given a short moment to catch his breath; Erwin throws him up against the wall, trapping him against it. Every contour of Levi's back is mashed into the crumbling stone. Levi's head tosses back, eyes squeezed shut in ecstasy, cheeks flushed with heat, and his breath rasping shallow and short as Erwin's hand aggressively works at him.

"Erwin…"

A raging fire builds in Erwin's spine at that husky rasp in Levi's voice. Restraining himself is impossible. When it comes to Levi, there's no such thing as self-control. Levi's small lips part, chesty pants coursing through them. Erwin jerks him around, facing him toward the wall. Erwin's body curves along Levi's back, his thighs straddling the slim hips plastered to him, and Levi's palms brace against the stone, struggling to keep himself grounded while falling deeper and deeper into mind-numbing pleasure.

Erwin's free hand reaches around Levi's head, fondling over his chin and prodding at his lips. They part in consent for entry, and Erwin's fingers slide into Levi's mouth, skimming over his teeth, delving deep into the wet corners behind his tongue. Levi groans and it's the loudest, most erotic sound Erwin has ever heard come from out of him.

Teeth lightly bite down on Erwin's fingers, a small tongue rolling around them and licking over his callouses. Once his fingers are saturated and coated in Levi's saliva, he removes them and they steal behind the holster strung around Levi's waist.

"Wait," Levi gasps, his hips trembling, rigid with tension.

Erwin's hand stops moving, cruelly neglecting a painfully stiff Levi.

There's an unsatisfied growl. "Erwin."

Erwin's chest rumbles with deep, teasing chuckles. "You told me to wait."

"Don't stop."

His fingers curl around Levi once again while his other, lubricated fingers slip inside him. There's a surprised grunt, and Erwin feels Levi twitch.

"Loosen up," he croons into Levi's ear.

Levi shudders with the overwhelming sensations Erwin stimulates at different parts of him, and takes in a long breath in an attempt to relax his muscles. Erwin's fingers move inside, rousing a sound that swells in the back of Levi's throat. They reach farther and a loud, unrestrained moan that makes Erwin's body quake with hunger is drawn out.

All of a sudden, there's the threat of voices nearby. Everything becomes still, the air abruptly growing cold with apprehension, and their breaths are held. Erwin can almost see the unease quickly spreading through Levi as he presses closer to the wall like he could fade into it like a shadow. The voices become closer—they're just overhead. Some Scouts are probably making their last rounds before calling it a day.

Erwin's attention returns to the unbearably enticing man in front of him. He continues brashly stroking Levi as the voices close in on them. Erwin is pushing this too far; he's tautening that dangerously thin line he's been walking and it's on the verge of snapping now.

There's a startled intake of breath. "Don't," Levi hisses.

Erwin ignores him. He continues pumping him as his other fingers feel for that spot he knows will send Levi so high that the resilient however admirable composure of his will wane.

"Erwin!"

But Erwin keeps on. Levi's throat audibly clamps shut, his hand slamming over his mouth to keep any noises from leaking out. The speed picks up and the vigor of it thrusts Levi further into bliss. He's almost there—he's searing hot and swollen stiff against Erwin's palm.

Throaty moans thread between Levi's chaotic breaths. "Stop, I can't…" he chokes.

Erwin is burning with thrill. Touching Levi this way in the eyes of danger peering at him from all corners is exhilarating. He's addicted to the rush. He doesn't want to stop. He _can't_ stop. Levi is his, and Erwin is using all that he can of him.

"We'll be caught, you idiot!"

The shrill plea brings Erwin back to his senses. His fingers pull away, and Levi gasps, his entire body violently jolting as he releases. He stumbles backward right into Erwin's arms, chest heaving with thin breath, his eyes shut and his senses hypersensitive.

Erwin cradles Levi, holding up his collapsed weight as Levi gradually regains his strength and poise. "My apologies, Levi. I was out of line."

Levi barely manages to speak, his voice hoarse and breathless. "Goddammit, Erwin. I thought you had better control than that."

"You overestimate me."

The voices passed by a while ago. Erwin truly owes Levi for his self-restraint. If Levi hadn't kept quiet like he did, they would've been caught—it's unquestionable. Erwin's actions were incredibly dangerous. But that rush had him entranced, and his body was aching painfully for Levi. He couldn't help himself.

Levi's breath evens out, and he tilts his head back to look at Erwin. Color still warms his cheeks and his silvery eyes are glazed over. "You can't afford doing things like that again. It's too risky." Levi's voice drops an octave. "If you're discharged because of me, I…"

"If I'm discharged because of you, it'll be worth it."

By the expression etched into Levi's face, it's obvious he disagrees with that statement. He twists around in Erwin's arms. "You should've had better control. Now look at you." Levi's fingertips touch Erwin where his trousers are uncomfortably constricting. "You're in no state to go back."

"I'm alright."

Levi eyes him with a deadpan. He's silent as he lowers in front of Erwin. His fingers slide down Erwin's fly and then he tugs Erwin's trousers lower on his hips. "Do you really think I'll let you leave like this?"

Erwin takes hold to Levi's hair as a hot tongue caresses every bit of him. A guttural growl builds in Erwin's chest when he feels the slippery heat of Levi's throat swallow him. He guides Levi through the motions, in and out, in a smooth rhythm. Teeth lightly graze over Erwin's sensitive flesh with enough force to send pleasurable shivers throughout him but without it being uncomfortable. Levi's mouth is ablaze. Erwin doesn't stand a chance against him. He has no guard or shame—he's pathetically powerless when Levi works him this way.

Erwin's fingers knot feverishly in Levi's hair, all his blood flow surging to his pelvis like liquid fire. His hips reflexively buck forward, and somehow Levi takes in all of Erwin with surprising grace. His mouth seems so small but he manages to completely sheathe Erwin.

"Hah, Levi…"

At the sound of Erwin's voice, Levi quickens his pace. The increased friction heightens Erwin's senses and his mind fuzzes over. His ears buzz with his own hammering heartbeat and heavy breathing. He throws his head back with another carnal growl, his eyes screwing shut. His muscles are tightened and he's intensely hot all over. Levi can sense Erwin's impending peak and his movements become rougher with anticipation.

"Levi," comes Erwin's low warning.

But Levi doesn't pull away like he should. A tremor works up Erwin's spine, his tensions spilling into Levi's mouth, and Levi readily downs every drop. Drained of his uncontrollable, predatory drive, Erwin is now gentle as his thumb tenderly wipes at the mess sticking to Levi's lips. His iron heart quirks when Levi blinks up at him.

"What am I going to do with you?" Erwin sighs in defeat. No, what is Erwin going to do with himself?

"Whatever you want," is the immediate response.

Erwin internally cringes at that. He clutches Levi's arms and hauls him to his feet. "Why do you let me use you? Have you no respect for yourself?"

Levi clicks his tongue against the roof of his mouth. "I don't yield to anyone but you."

"Because you're in love with me?" It's not a question. Erwin already knows how Levi feels about him.

Levi doesn't say anything but his silence is clearer than any spoken word.

"I told you in the very beginning you were a mere pawn. I can't requite your feelings." Erwin hates that the heart inside his chest he's spent years hardening and desensitizing is crumbling because of Levi, and he will _never_ admit that aloud. He'll continue dwelling in denial, burying his heart deep down until he can't feel it anymore. He'll smother every last sentiment he feels because if he doesn't, Erwin will have a weakness. And Erwin can't allow for that.

Levi pulls away from Erwin's hold. He swiftly fixes his skewed gear and refastens his trousers, recuperating his appearance to suit battle. Once he's resituated himself, he turns his back on Erwin and gives a detached, clipped reply. "I know." Grapple hooks shoot out and in a blink, he's gone.

* * *

It's just another day, fighting silly looking titans, with more death and carnage fouling it up. Today is nothing special. Levi hacks them all to pieces, snarky remarks and taunts carelessly rolling off his tongue to keep himself entertained. One of his subordinates lies in a bloody heap in the dust. He's barely holding on to life. Petra is knelt beside him, trying her best to stop the bleeding but it oozes around her hands, gushing between her fingers. It's no use.

There's a weak gasp. "Captain…"

Instantly, Levi is on his knees next to this dying man. "What is it?"

"Was I useful to mankind at least? Or will I die having never been useful to anything at all?" A bloody, grimy hand stretches upward as if desperately reaching for some kind of comfort.

Levi grips that hand firmly. "You've done more than enough. Even from here on, I'll make your remaining will my strength. I swear to you, I'll eradicate the titans." And the hand falls limp in Levi's.

"Captain, he's gone…" Petra murmurs.

Levi's eyes are downcast, his voice soft. "Do you think he heard all that I said?"

"Yeah, I think so. He looks like he's sleeping without worry."

Levi sighs. "Good, then."

The sound of clicking heels approach, and Levi looks up. It's Erwin.

"Levi, we're retreating."

Levi shoots to his feet. "Retreating? I'm still far from my limit." Levi is irritated with Erwin. Retreating will mean breaking his promise to his subordinate. "Are you trying to make my subordinate's death a pig's death? You better have a good reason for this."

"The titans overrunning this town have suddenly changed direction. They're all headed north." Erwin's steel eyes flash. "Straight towards the middle wall. It's the same as when Wall Maria fell. Titans are being drawn there for some unknown reason. The wall may already be breached."

Levi stiffens and doesn't stick around for another word. He flies off, Erwin and his squad falling farther and farther behind him, unable to keep up with his breakneck speed. Levi is lucky he wasn't too far out. He can already see the smoke rising from the middle wall as he bolts closer to it. The only question Levi has is how? How was Wall Rose breached? There was no sign of danger—titans were pushed back to a safe distance. Humanity can't bear another fault in their stronghold.

He sees a throng of titans crowding a small portion on the wall and curses under his breath. They seem to be drawn to this area like a moth to flame. There are shouting voices and frantic shrieks. He dives directly into the danger without any hesitation in his movements. His blades cleanly sever through the titans' napes, and they fall beneath his feet. Three misplaced, new recruits cower behind him and he glances over his shoulder at them. One of them has strange bits of enflamed flesh and extra muscle fibers tethered to his face, and his eye is swollen completely shut, blood streaming down his cheeks.

Levi's brows crease as he stares at them. "Hey... mind telling me what's going on around here?"

That kid who had the bizarre wounds covering his body was imprisoned and has been in a coma for three days. Levi is beginning to wonder if he'll ever wake up.

"He can assimilate to the appearance of a titan," Erwin muses. "This is quite the development."

Together they watch this mysterious kid sleep like the dead—Levi leant against the wall, arms crossed nonchalantly over his chest, and Erwin lounged in a chair beside him. The stories about this kid are much more interesting than his appearance—he's not very tall nor is he stacked with hard muscle. He has simple, shaggy, brown hair and tanned skin—a very ordinary, uninteresting appearance. He looks like any other irritating brat that runs around. Thick, iron bars cage him and the chains shackling his bony wrists look ridiculous on him. Is the human race really so afraid of a single kid?

"It's hard to believe, isn't it?"

Levi nods in agreement. "He looks harmless." There's a beat of silence. "They're going to kill him, aren't they?"

Erwin leans forward, elbows propped on his knees and resting his chin against his folded fingers, deep in thought. "Yes."

"Cowards."

"They say he took out hordes of titans that were much larger in stature before he was finally beaten. This boy's strength shouldn't be underrated."

"_I_ take out hordes of titans, and clearly, I've _never_ been beaten. I'm still alive. Point is, I'm more powerful than this little shit."

Erwin chuckles. "You're undeniably strong, Levi. You're the most powerful soldier there is, but this boy could be it."

"What do you mean?"

"He could be humanity's last hope."

"I doubt it. He's just a kid. He'd have to have a damn good reason for fighting." Levi doesn't have a good reason to fight. He was forced into the Survey Corps to escape an unpleasant fate. That's why he could never be the one to save humanity. He'll eternally fight because he doesn't have a choice. Regaining mankind's honor means little to Levi.

"I agree. But I don't like the thought of this boy dying in any case."

"Neither do I." Levi hates pointless deaths the most, and this kid hasn't done anything to deserve to die. Levi doesn't have any reason to trust him, but he'll hear out his story.

The moment Eren Jaeger awakens, he sits up and his eyes widen a bit at the sight of them. Levi's gaze is tossed disinterestedly at the wall while Erwin clears up a few things with Eren. It seems this kid doesn't know much at all about himself or what's happened to him, and his only family left has disappeared.

"You lose your memory and your daddy goes missing, huh? Now, _that's_ convenient," Levi remarks suspiciously. Eren's story is too shaky with too many holes. This kid's credibility is suffering greatly from the lack of details.

"Levi," Erwin says. "We already established that Eren would have no reason for lying." Then Erwin's attention shifts back to Eren. "There are still a few things I'd like to know, however as of now, I believe I should ask you what it is you want exactly?"

Levi watches Eren as he deliberates over the question.

"What I want…?"

Eren takes a good long while thinking as Erwin continues on about the situation, offering Eren an ultimatum of helping them reclaim Wall Maria. Even after Erwin stops talking this kid is silent.

"Hello… we don't have all day, you little shit. What is it you wanna do?" Levi pushes.

Eren's head snaps upward to look at him. His golden-flecked eyes are so fiery and intense they almost intimidate Levi. _Almost_. "I wanna join the Survey Corps and annihilate the titans!" he growls with a fierce determination that couldn't possibly have been insincere.

That's it. That's this kid's reason. "Oh. Not bad." Erwin could be right about this kid. He could be exactly what humanity needs.

Levi pushes off from the wall and idly approaches the cell. "Erwin, tell the higher ups I'll be vouching for him." His fingers loosely curl around the cold bars confining Eren while he stares inside at this mysterious kid. "It's not that I trust him, it's just that I wanna be there to kill him if he ever goes rogue and starts a rampage." Levi's eyes sharpen. "I doubt anyone will object. I'm the only one fit for the job after all."

He addresses Eren directly now. "Alright, Kid, you're in. Consider yourself a part of the Survey Corps."

The only problem is convincing the Head Commander that Eren should be allowed into the Survey Corps. Levi folds his arms over his chest as he observes the trial take place. Eren is forced into a crouch before the court, his arms bound behind his back while questions and resentful accusations are thrown at him.

"This is a familiar scene," Erwin murmurs. "I think I've seen this once before."

Warmth spreads through Levi's face. Yeah, this is similar to Levi's own court trial. This time though, Levi is the one vouching. The more that's exposed regarding the truth behind Eren, the more intense the terror thickens in the jury around them. Levi can feel these pigs tremble in fear. The Military Police commanders say a few things, and Erwin says a few things. But fear has the power here. Erwin's influence is overwhelmed by it.

Erwin growls under his breath, "At this rate, we'll lose him to the Military Police. He'll be dissected."

No, Levi won't let that happen. He'll do exactly as Erwin ordered, even if it makes a brute out of Levi. There's no other option. The frustration and exasperation is clearly displayed on Eren's face. His jaw is white with tension from gnashing his teeth together for too long, and deep, angry folds rut his brow. He's biting back what he wants to say but he's going to lose it. His self-control is dwindling away. Just a moment longer, Levi waits.

Eren is shouting, frantically arguing in the defense of his friend. "No!" Then his hands slam hard against the metal railing keeping him in a bend on the ground. The metallic clanging shatters the air, and Eren's voice rings loud and angry over all the chaos. "Just shut up! And let me _fight_ for you!"

It's tensely quiet. And then the courtroom erupts into terrified cries, "Kill him! He's a monster!"

Levi springs into action.

A tooth is ripped right out of Eren's gum-line when Levi's boot connects with his jaw. A collective inhale of shock from the jury and then silence ensues. Levi's powerful knee digs deep into the soft organs at the kid's gut, and a low groan of pain follows. That same knee is thrust into his face, and Eren chokes on mouthfuls of his own blood. A fistful of hair, and Levi slams him forward to grind the heel of his boot into the nape of his neck; he feels the creak of the vertebrae contorting beneath the unforgiving pressure.

"This is only my personal opinion, but I believe pain is the best tool for teaching discipline."

Eren's bones crunch and crack under the sheer force of the blows, but his gasped out cries and whimpers fall on deaf ears. Levi doesn't hold back. He has no other choice but to unleash his strength on him. He doesn't let his reluctance show as he kicks him around. Those intense eyes, half lidded in agony, are on Levi, blood dribbling over his teeth and chin pathetically.

"Hold on, Levi…"

Levi heaves an internal sigh of relief and removes his boot from Eren's face. He turns to the commander speaking to him. "What?"

"It's dangerous. What if he starts raging and turns into a titan?"

Levi faces the crumpled mess of the kid in front of him. "What are you talking about?" He fists a handful of Eren's matted, brown hair and pulls him closer. He reeks of blood, and his intense eyes have faded with exhaustion. "Weren't you guys going to dissect him?"

The military police stiffen, nervous tension setting throughout them.

A smirk twitches at the corner of Levi's mouth. "As I heard, he took out twenty titans before his strength ran out. If he were an enemy, he might be more trouble than what he's worth. He still can't stand against me though. But if he betrays humanity, he'll be _your_ problem, not mine. What will you do then?"

Erwin's deep, authoritative voice cuts in accordingly. "Head Commander, I have a proposal."

"What is it?"

"Eren's titan power is exceedingly dangerous and unpredictable. So why don't we put Eren under Corporal Levi's command?"

Levi can tell Erwin has their full attention and support now. Only halfway paying mind to the commotion around him, Levi bends his knees a little, lowering closer to Eren and grimacing at the sight of his broken body chained in front of him. He really beat the shit out of this kid… But at least now, he'll live. That's all that matters.

* * *

After the trial, Levi and Erwin head to the room where Eren is being held. They walk side-by-side. The two of them make an efficient team. When they're together, hardly anything can equally counter them. Erwin looks down at Levi. He's staring straightforward with that frustratingly detached look of his. Levi hadn't wanted to inflict any damage to Eren. When Erwin revealed his plan to him, Levi didn't object, but Erwin saw the hesitancy in his expression. It reminded Erwin of his own reluctance to whip Levi at his court trial.

"You didn't hold back," Erwin says.

"You told me to make it convincing."

"I'm surprised. You were absolutely ruthless."

Levi's expression darkens. "You think I wanted to be?"

Erwin knows pain of any kind doesn't appeal to Levi. Kicking Eren around wasn't easy for him, but he threw away that value at Erwin's command. He really will do whatever Erwin tells him to, even if it corrodes away a part of Levi's own personal self. And Erwin isn't sure how he feels about Levi's unwavering obedience to him. Erwin will give a command one day that Levi won't be able to carry out. Erwin doesn't know when that will happen, why, or what that command will be, but there's a part of Erwin that wishes Levi would put up some sort of fight so when that day comes, Levi will refuse to obey him and he'll continue to live. He won't die at Erwin's order like the rest of the Survey Corps soldiers.

Erwin rests a heavy hand on Levi's small shoulder. "You did well."

Levi glimpses up at Erwin, and for a second he looks like his younger self. Receiving praises was always a surprise to Levi, and right now he has a subtle, childlike widening to his droopy eyes.

Erwin ruffles his hair like he used to do. "All we have to do now is see just how determined this boy is."

They enter the room, and Eren is seated on the sofa looking severely beaten up and bruised. He looks up at Erwin with wonder as he steps in front of him.

Erwin meets his eye apologetically. "I'm sorry about that," he begins. "You freely spoke your mind in front of everyone. It gave us the perfect opportunity to play the card we had up our sleeve. Your pain was necessary to achieve our goal." He extends an open palm, offering a handshake and flashing a warm smile. "You have my respect. It's a pleasure to meet you properly, Eren. I'm looking forward to working with you."

Eren is hesitant as he takes Erwin's hand. "Me too."

Suddenly, Levi interrupts them. He coolly slings himself into the seat next to Eren, an arm stretched over the back of the couch, his ankle crossed casually over his knee. Eren jumps and flinches, instinctively recoiling from the man who wreaked welts and wounds over his body.

Levi's gaze is downcast. "Hey, Eren."

Nervous sweat beads at Eren's hairline. "Y-Yes?"

Levi glances at him from the corner of his eye, his bottom lip tugging downward a fraction. "Do you hate me?"

The reply is sincere. "N-No…I understand. The act you put up had to be believable."

Levi's eyelids droop, his concern visibly subsiding. "Good, then."

Even after all this time, Levi hasn't hardened his heart the way Erwin originally intended for him, but for some reason Levi's mercy appeals to Erwin. Levi is harsh and cold, but his heart is, in fact, warm. Not many people can see Levi's compassion because he's seemingly hardened and detached, but inside he's gentle. And it'll be a burden on him. Levi will be left vulnerable—it's only a matter of time. Levi needs to remain strong, but how can he do that if he doesn't lock up his heart? Can't Levi see that he's weak?

Or maybe, Levi's heart _is_ his strength and Erwin will never be able comprehend that type of power. Maybe _Erwin_ is the weak one here.

* * *

Erwin is visiting the hideout where Levi and his squad are currently residing. It's away from prying eyes and it won't be easily tracked by threats. The expanse is large with more rooms than necessary. The room in which Erwin and Levi are discussing their next move is extensive with a large, comfortable bed placed in the center, and they're gladly taking advantage of its luxury. Erwin is sitting on the edge, the mattress dipping with his weight, while Levi is propped against the headboard, staring at nothing in particular. Erwin is twisted around to face him as he tells him about the mission ahead of them.

This mission will be the most critical one they've ever undertaken. With Eren as a red flag for dangers and perils, death will be inevitable. The entire operation will be centered on Eren. Lines of soldiers will enclose him, protecting him. The beast they will be luring in is one of the same origins as Eren. Another human assimilated to the appearance of a titan—a titan shifter, more specifically, the female titan. Not much is known about her. She's only been spotted once or twice making her more myth than fact. As Erwin informs Levi of the procedures they will take, not a single fault cracks his deadpan.

"You're to lead the legion to the forest in the south where I will wait with reinforcement to capture the female titan. And no matter what happens, you will keep riding forward. You will not fight. You will not turn around. You will keep going straight into the trap I have set for her. You will bring her to me."

"…What about those in the rear of the formation? You say you want me to lure her to you, but those soldiers will face her in combat. They'll die."

"Yes, they will."

For a moment, Levi's deadpan falters, and his eyes are sharp on Erwin. "You'll throw away their lives just like that?" His voice is low and cold.

Erwin frowns at him. "Their efforts will serve humanity."

"Their efforts will lead them to death," he snaps.

Erwin's jaw tightens. "That's an order, Levi."

The muscles up Levi's forearms ripple as his fingers curl into fists. He doesn't look at Erwin, his teeth gnashed together indignantly, but he doesn't fight Erwin's command either. He plays his role of Erwin's pawn seamlessly.

"And you will _not_ tell anyone of this. They will go into this operation blind."

Levi's eyes flick to him in disbelief. "Isn't that deceit? Aren't we betraying our own men?"

"No, it's a precaution in case we have a spy in our midst. It's possible the female titan is one of us."

"I trust your judgment, but isn't there another way? Those lives don't need to be sacrificed."

Erwin pulls his legs onto the mattress and edges close to Levi. He reaches out toward Levi's face and his palm settles on his smooth cheek. "This is war. Lives will be lost and wasted. It can't be helped."

"They don't deserve a pig's death."

"Then take it upon yourself to fight for them. Didn't you say you'd fight for the dead?"

Levi's brows pull together into an expression that Erwin can only interpret as a pained one. His head hangs a little lower and his shoulders slump forward a fraction. "I'll always fight for them."

"But it's a burden, isn't it?"

Levi doesn't offer a reply. Erwin leans into him and presses his lips into the hollow behind Levi's jaw, under his ear. Levi's head tilts to the side, opening up and allowing him better access. He lets out a low sigh as Erwin's mouth suckles at his skin. Levi tastes salty-sweet on his tongue and his soapy, clean scent fills Erwin's lungs as he breathes it in.

Levi speaks, and Erwin can feel the rumbling waves of Levi's voice reverberating through him. "Erwin, you're going to kill those men."

Levi is still dwelling on that? "Yes," he mutters against Levi's neck where he can feel a vein pulsate beneath his lips.

"Will you kill me too?"

Ice water rushes through Erwin's veins, and he pulls back. He's silent for a long time, observing Levi's steadfast guard. The question hangs thick in the air, but Levi doesn't show any kind of reaction. His unbreakable barriers are raised, and Erwin can't tell what thoughts are going through his corporal's mind.

"Yes," Erwin says at last. He caresses Levi's jaw, his calloused thumb running along Levi's slightly dry lips. "But you have to survive." He closes the distance between their faces, placing a tender kiss on Levi's small mouth. And although Erwin is silent, his lips are begging to Levi: Don't let me send you to your death, don't live as my pawn.

Erwin isn't sure if his steel heart will be able to endure losing Levi. Just the thought shatters Erwin. This mission, this order that Erwin has given Levi to lure the female titan into the forest could be fatal. It's likely Levi won't survive this operation. Tonight could very well be the last time he ever sees his corporal alive and breathing. This could be the last time he feels Levi's slightly dry lips on his, the last time he can breathe in Levi's soapy, clean scent, and hear Levi's quiet, gravelly voice.

The atmosphere around them is different from their usual nights together. It isn't predatory or aggressive, lust filled or rough—it's almost painful. Every time a part of Erwin makes contact with Levi, his skin tingles and his heart aches. He savors every bit of Levi that he can, memorizing every taste and every sensation. Erwin's body practically shakes with desperation as he gently guides Levi onto his back, into the soft pillows and duvet under them. His fingers tug at the hem of Levi's shirt, peeling it over his head. Erwin's mouth moves down Levi's throat, over his protruding Adam's apple, to his collarbone.

Dark marks streak Levi's pale skin, bands of his flesh having been eroded away from years of the maneuvering gear ripping on his muscle. Erwin traces over those marks with his fingertips, with his lips, and with his tongue. Levi shudders beneath Erwin's body then his strong arms curl around Erwin's broad neck, and his jaded, silvery eyes penetrate deep into Erwin's. After tenderly brushing Levi's dark hair to the side, Erwin places a delicate kiss on his forehead.

"Erwin? You're being unusually gentle."

Erwin's eyes rove over Levi's face, imprinting each perfectly, imperfect line and plane to memory. He touches the permanent, sunken trenches beneath his droopy eyes and then his small nose. Everything about Levi, even his foul mouth and harsh words, Erwin finds appealing.

Erwin's fingertips lightly follow Levi's jawline to the tip of his pointed chin. "Do you love me, Levi?"

Levi blinks at the question. "Isn't the answer to that obvious?"

"You know I can't return it, yet you continue loving me."

Levi reaches up and his palm cups over Erwin's cheek, sending warm tingles through his face. "I know why you can't feel the same. You have to detach yourself in order to fulfill your duties. I'm not an idiot."

Erwin's breath snags in shock. He hadn't realized how clearly Levi could read him—he can see directly through him. Levi probably knows more about Erwin than Erwin knows about himself.

"But I can also see that you're lying. If you truly didn't care about me, your touch wouldn't be so gentle."

Erwin's arms lock around Levi's body in an embrace, his chest nearly swallowing Levi's shoulders. "I wish you were wrong."

"I know."

Erwin chuckles but it lacks any humor; it's empty, and it pierces Erwin's chest. "Do you know everything?"

Levi's chest cavity vibrates with a scoff. "Of course not. I'm just not blind."

"No, you're not," Erwin agrees. "You can see everything that I've been trying to hide."

Levi's voice is low and sensual in Erwin's ear, his breath ghosting the side of his face. "You don't have to hide from me, you know."

Erwin retracts from Levi and looks upon his face. "There are parts of me that no one should ever see. I'm a cruel man."

Levi's brows furrow. "Because you have to be."

Erwin shakes his head. "No." He takes the sides of Levi's face in the palms of his hands, peering deep into the ashen pools of his eyes, hoping that his corporal will finally understand that Erwin isn't at all a good person. There's no viable reason that could ever justify Erwin's cruelty. Erwin is going to Hell. He's been on this path since the beginning. He's been racing down it, and at this rate he'll drag Levi along with him. "I choose to be."

Erwin feels Levi stiffen beneath him at those chilling words, and his eyes widen a bit. Has he exposed his true nature clearly enough for Levi? Will Levi's love for him wane? It'll be best if it did. That way Levi can save himself. He'll quit readily following after Erwin into the shadows— he'll turn back. Someone like Levi, who has a merciful heart, doesn't belong in the pitiless, cold that is darkness. And Levi exists in a place Erwin can't reach. They will _never_ be in the same realm.

"Why?" Levi asks. "Why do you choose to be that way?"

"To attain something that I want."

"What is it you want?"

Erwin takes Levi's hand in his and brings it to his mouth, laying a chaste kiss on his knuckles. He stares far into the depths of Levi's silvery, jaded eyes that are, with each second, bringing him closer to the edge of breaking. "I want freedom." And Erwin will do whatever it takes to reach it because he _always_ gets what he wants.


End file.
